Joined: Jul 13,
I'm all for
rewriting the script into a pizza script with photos. The name
should be "The Delivery". The general idea is "the matrix" is
fake, nasty delivery pizza, agents/etc are the monolithic
delivery company. The people fighting the matrix are a small
italian resturant that hand makes their own pizza. Here's a
few choice scenes rewritten.
Cheese boy: Do not try and melt the cheese. That's
impossible. Instead only try to realize the truth.
Cheese boy: There is no cheese.
is no cheese?
Cheese boy: Then you'll see that it is not
the cheese that melts, it is only yourself.
Agent Smith: Have you ever stood and stared at it, marveled
at its beauty, its genius? Billions of people just living
out their dietary lives, content. Did you know that at first
deliveries were designed to bring a perfect pizza? Where
none were cold. Where everyone would be full. It was a
disaster. No one would accept the pizza. Entire zip codes
were lost to the service. Some believed that we lacked the
culinary expertise to create your perfect pizza. But I
believe that as a species, human beings define their reality
through misery and the occasional soggy crust. The perfect
pizza was a dream that your primitive palette kept trying to
wake up from. Which is why delivery was redesigned to this,
the peak of your cooking. I say your cooking because as soon
as we started doing it for you it really became our cooking
which is, of course, what this is all about. Evolution,
Morpheus, evolution. Like the calzone. Look in that oven
window. You had your time. The future is our pizza,
Morpheus. The future is our oven.
Agent Jones: There
could be a problem.
eh, that last one was tough.
Cypher: Hello, Trinity.
Cypher: You know, for a long time, I
thought I was in love with you. I used to dream about you.
You're a beautiful woman, Trinity. Too bad things had to
turn out this way.
Trinity: You overcooked the
Switch: Oh God.
tired, Trinity. I tired of this profession. I'm tired of
baking. I'm tired of this kitchen, being cold, eating the
same goddamn sauce everyday. But most of all, I'm tired of
that jack-off and all his oregano. Surprise, ass-hole! I bet
you never saw this coming, didja? God, I wish I could be
there, when they open that oven. I wish I could walk in just
when it happens. So right then, you'd know it was
Trinity: You gave them 90 minutes.
Morpheus lied to us, Trinity. He tricked us. If you'da told
us the truth, we woulda told you to shove that gold crust
right up your ass.
Trinity: That's not true, Cypher, he
set us free.
Cypher: Free? You call this free? All I do
is bake what he tells me to bake. If I had to choose between
that and delivery, I choose delivery.
Cypher: I disagree, Trinity. I think delivery
can be more real than this place. All I do is turn this dial
here. But there, you have to watch the cheese blacken.
around with this message at May 11, 2003 around