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The Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > What the hell is this!?!? Thread Rating: 962 votes, 4.96 average. (3): « 1 2 3 »  
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CupBoy
Joined: Aug 07, 2002

King of the World

May 23, 2003: 20:34
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Nevermore
Joined: May 11, 2003


May 23, 2003: 20:37
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AndGoatForMe
Joined: Mar 13, 2002

Meditation is stronger than ROBOTS

This is a thread so funney that even the title (combined with your username) made me el oh el...

Fives for all!

May 23, 2003: 21:01
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NinjaLincoln
Joined: Apr 23, 2003

Four score and seven years ago, Ninjas ruled the dojo.

quote:
Nevermore came out of the closet to say:





AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

I love you.

May 23, 2003: 21:18
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mmmm_pie
Joined: Feb 19, 2003


Zgyzhs sh wfny.

quote:
Hoffma came out of the closet to say:
Assboat can't put out candles without his oars, but he KNOWS how to FARTY HARD



props to HELLO.JPG for the inspiration



OH DEAR SWEET GOD I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING

(Never has so much funny been so condensed... so well)

May 23, 2003: 21:23
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Gally
Joined: May 31, 2001


quote:
Nevermore came out of the closet to say:



Wow, just wow. This is such a great thread. Manchair+assboat, sunken assboat, and now this.

May 23, 2003: 21:25
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SndwchManCan
Joined: May 08, 2003

I feel that this is something sufficiently witty.

May 23, 2003: 21:29
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KrYpTiC
Joined: May 13, 2003


quote:
Rocket-Nuts came out of the closet to say:
Yeah yeah, cliched, but fuck it, I miss our old buddy.



I saw this, and all I could think of was this:

May 23, 2003: 21:32
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Hey!
Joined: Feb 26, 2001


MORE MONEY = BETTER THAN

quote:
Pirate Tom came out of the closet to say:

God damn, that is hilarious. gj

May 23, 2003: 21:35
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pooched
Joined: Mar 16, 2001


This is how he should have done in Shatner in Generations:

May 23, 2003: 21:38
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Vogelfrei
Joined: Jun 15, 2002


I've been a member of the "Caldrax can do no wrong" cult since the Batman Art thread, but he just keeps proving it again and again. And then the rest of you go and make the gold golder. Marvelous.

May 23, 2003: 21:44
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CheSera
Joined: May 16, 2003

TATDOMAW

quote:
Nevermore came out of the closet to say:


Oh Christ, that's awesome. Screw counting sheep, I'm counting assboats to sleep tonight.

May 23, 2003: 21:55
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DoombatINC
Joined: Apr 19, 2003

Look! I'm the mitten pope!

quote:
YardKGnome came out of the closet to say:
[IMG}http://www.readytopwn.com/sparky/asstub.jpg{/IMG]


Combine this image with the man on the asstrain, and we've got ourselves an unstoppable comedy power.

Unstoppable

May 23, 2003: 21:56
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hack_the_planet
Joined: Sep 11, 2002

unix hacker code: rm -rf *.*

quote:
jnz came out of the closet to say:
Diver's Log, May 23:
I've heard the stories about it--that sunken hulk which both fascinates and terrifies explorers. But I didn't comprehend the reality of it until today. As I approached, it appeared through the murk like a queen making her entrance. Its once mighty curves were now encrusted with countless generations of sea life. I gazed in wonder and thought about her captain--he was a stoic and brave sailor, I have no doubt. What was his name? I don't know. To me he will always simply be: Captain of The Assboat.




I regret that I have but one five to give for my comrades.

May 23, 2003: 21:56
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Munkaboo
Joined: Aug 04, 2002


My sister: What is that?....

Me: It's an assboat.

Sister: Right... then why is it in the air?

Me: That's because I am making it an asscopter.

edit: comedy sexcopter.

Yea, I know the fuzzy edges make it look -5 funny, oh well.

Munkaboo decided to show you this image:

Munkaboo fucked around with this message at May 23, 2003 around 22:11

May 23, 2003: 22:08
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Einrich
Joined: Oct 12, 2001

[insert screwdriver and/or toothpick here]

Needs more of the cock statue that Alex beat the old broad with in "A Clockwork Orange".


PS, 5

Edit: OMFG, I didn't even see this post before I clicked reply:

quote:
pooched came out of the closet to say:
This is how he should have done in Shatner in Generations:


May 23, 2003: 22:11
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Munkaboo
Joined: Aug 04, 2002


Don't ask.

Munkaboo decided to show you this image:

May 23, 2003: 22:20
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jediguy
Joined: Apr 19, 2002





Beige Leader, standing by.

May 23, 2003: 22:23
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CarbonCpy
Joined: Dec 26, 2002


Goddamned Game Show Geek

quote:
SpecialK came out of the closet to say:

poo-snail?



I'm kinda partial to turdsnail, m'self.

May 23, 2003: 22:24
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TDKnighton
Joined: Feb 10, 2002


Literally, it's an Oscar Mayer Wiener canoe sans wiener...

May 23, 2003: 22:27
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Stick_Fig
Joined: Nov 21, 2002


I torture rubber duckies

quote:
Pirate Tom came out of the closet to say:



OH GOD YOU FUCKER I CAN'T EVEN TYPE BECAUSE OF THIS PICTURE

YOU HAVE MADE QUITE POSSIBLY THE BEST PICTURE EVER

May 23, 2003: 22:33
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LonelyKing
Joined: Feb 01, 2003


The only true olympic sport...

LonelyKing decided to show you this image:

May 23, 2003: 22:37
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SpoogeCannon
Joined: May 12, 2003



quote:
Pirate Tom came out of the closet to say:
img-assboat

Spit:Mouth-Air-Monitor.
5 Golden Assboats all around!

May 23, 2003: 22:39
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Boco_T
Joined: Mar 11, 2003


Keep your energy high with my Beast Power Rap

I realize that I am the worst Photoshopper ever but I had to get in on this because it's the funniest thing I've seen since somebody showed me that "What the fuck is the Pringles Man's Name" thread.

May 23, 2003: 22:43
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LurchDawg
Joined: Jan 01, 2003


Forum Dra-Goon

May 23, 2003: 22:53
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rueben26
Joined: May 31, 2001


I want to be one of the X-men!!

quote:
LurchDawg came out of the closet to say:
[img redpile.gif]


Fucking awesome, thank you.

Phives all around.

__________________
If you want to play some Halo online, look me up on AIM. Always up for a fun Goon game.

May 23, 2003: 23:03
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CreamCheese
Joined: Oct 22, 2002


Unpossible!



ASDOIASFINAOSIFHAOSIFHGAOSIDHAS!@$#)UADS


5

May 23, 2003: 23:16
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AlteniaTheTerrible
Joined: Jan 03, 2002

While I am skilled with a video camera, my taste in hot girls is somewhat lacking.

Just when I think things can't get any funnier, they do. I haven't laughed this hard for ages.

May 23, 2003: 23:20
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eXXon
Joined: Aug 19, 2002


I don't have time to bleed!

Damn, beaten to the space theme while I was doing this. Oh well.

__________________

May 23, 2003: 23:22
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Ethangar
Joined: Oct 08, 2002


Syndrome of a Down

Oh wow, I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Hell, I can't even explain why this is so funny.

May 23, 2003: 23:25
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ryn
Joined: Apr 22, 2003

Life's a lot more fun when you're not responsible for your actions.

I severely hope I'm wrong in saying that this thread can't get any better.
Manboat is the funniest thing EVER!

May 23, 2003: 23:27
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The Walrus
Joined: Jul 08, 2002

I will stop myself from posting "what" in GBS even though it's so fucking hard dammit I wanna post it. :(

This must make the front page, as this is EASILY the funniest PS thread since the Great Wall of China BMX guy.

May 23, 2003: 23:36
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CapnPete
Joined: Jan 19, 2003

I'm good. Maybe later



Man in Assboat c. 1900-1925

May 23, 2003: 23:38
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ToiletDuk
Joined: Sep 04, 2002


That's right, fat stuff.
Shake those chins!

This is one of the greatest threads in history, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't contribute. Sorry about the size, but I couldn't get it much below 100k without making it look horrible:

__________________

Witness my army of Photoshopping newbies!
Spanky Hockenpuss - Milieu - Doctor McNinja - Akumu

May 23, 2003: 23:50
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jnz
Joined: Apr 19, 2002


jnz fucked around with this message at May 24, 2003 around 02:48

May 24, 2003: 00:00
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Ackbar
Joined: Jul 14, 2002


The Runner

yea, yea, yea, I know. shut up already.

http://flashpages.prodigy.net/mlnelms/_uimages/assboat000.jpg

This isn't nws, but some ultra-sensitive fruitloop will complain, so there's the link.

May 24, 2003: 00:01
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Lankiveil
Joined: Feb 23, 2001


Forums Minimalist

This is one of the greatest threads in the history of these forums.

May 24, 2003: 00:05
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psyfive
Joined: Apr 10, 2003


First thing that popped into my head:

http://jmora.freeyellow.com/asstank.jpg

May 24, 2003: 00:05
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Malfeasance!@
Joined: Feb 27, 2003


May 24, 2003: 00:07
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Malfeasance!@
Joined: Feb 27, 2003


quote:
ToiletDuk came out of the closet to say:
This is one of the greatest threads in history, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't contribute. Sorry about the size, but I couldn't get it much below 100k without making it look horrible:

img http://www.fishdot.org/sa/images/toiletduk_asstrain_100k.gif /img



Screw the size, that is genius!

May 24, 2003: 00:09
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TheRealJon
Joined: Sep 11, 2001

I'M A WORTHLESS DEADBEAT WHO SIGNS UP IN THE SECRET SANTA THREAD AND DOESN'T SEND ANYTHING, THEN AFTER I READ THE PM ABOUT IT ON 01-13 AT 20:42 I STILL DON'T RESPOND BECAUSE I AM A FAT SIMPLETON WHO DESERVES TO BE IGNORED.

quote:
Ackbar came out of the closet to say:
yea, yea, yea, I know. shut up already.

http://flashpages.prodigy.net/mlnelms/_uimages/assboat000.jpg

This isn't nws, but some ultra-sensitive fruitloop will complain, so there's the link.



May 24, 2003: 00:11
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Korwen
Joined: Feb 25, 2003


BEST.THREAD.EVAR

May 24, 2003: 00:23
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CMingus
Joined: Sep 15, 2002

running away

(555)555-5555

May 24, 2003: 00:28
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caldrax
Joined: Jan 20, 2001


I have another idea that I *really* want to do, but I fear that it might take too long and that my gif animation skills might not be up to it.

May 24, 2003: 00:30
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clickhat
Joined: Dec 31, 2002


this thing is going to start a new world order

May 24, 2003: 00:37
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Presto
Joined: Nov 21, 2002


It looks a little like Lt. Colonel Grossman.

May 24, 2003: 00:56
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Typhoeus
Joined: Apr 17, 2003


May 24, 2003: 00:56
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Oz M. Andias
Joined: Nov 19, 2000


I used to work at the merry-go-round, but the merry-go-round broke down.

May 24, 2003: 00:59
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Pavil
Joined: May 02, 2003

New, does it matter?

May 24, 2003: 01:01
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uncut product
Joined: Apr 03, 2001


May 24, 2003: 01:14
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Long Hill Avenue
Joined: Mar 17, 2003


Stick Figure Chic

May 24, 2003: 01:15
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tr0n
Joined: Jun 01, 2000

Wait, I'm confused about the movie. So the cops knew that internal affairs were setting them up?

May 24, 2003: 01:20
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publicblast
Joined: Dec 19, 2002


This year: grad school. Next year: unemployed in style.

Has anyone looked at the page of the "artist" who produced the assboat and the other fine works referred to on this thread? His name is Řyvind Suuls, and here's his rationale for his work, taken from his site:

quote:
Řyvind Suuls artwork is mainly about association and individual experience. During the working process he find it important to capture and build visual tendencies that could influence and stimulate the viewers perception and imagination. Together the tendencies make an ambiguous reservoir. This reservoir should generate visual questions instead of answers. The viewer is therefore not supposed to find context in the usual sense of the word. Instead individual and personal experience becomes an efficient substitute for logic understanding.

How does this guy have a job and I don't?

May 24, 2003: 01:28
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Ethangar
Joined: Oct 08, 2002


Syndrome of a Down

quote:
tr0n came out of the closet to say:
classified.gif






*gasp*

May 24, 2003: 01:31
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CasperX
Joined: Feb 19, 2001


May 24, 2003: 01:32
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esoteric
Joined: Nov 19, 2002


quote:
pooched came out of the closet to say:
This is how he should have done in Shatner in Generations:



whoah man, im watching that movie right now and im at that very part... spooky

May 24, 2003: 01:34
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DrklrdBob
Joined: Nov 02, 2002


I voted my 5 yesterday, when I first saw this thread.
It makes me happy that it's still around.

Voted 5 with gimmick account too.

__________________
What is divine escapes men's notice because of their incredularity.
-Sleix
Residential Hazard Marker

May 24, 2003: 01:41
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uoutf
Joined: May 03, 2003



quote:
CasperX came out of the closet to say:
http://www.lowta.cx/upload/asscrash.jpg


I choked on a 'Tato Skin and almost died when I saw this.

5!!

May 24, 2003: 01:47
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NNTP Refugee
Joined: Apr 19, 2003



"I regret that I have but one five to give for this thread." -- Nathan "Bees" Hale

May 24, 2003: 01:50
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DogWelder
Joined: Jan 15, 2001


"Monsters?"

Sorry, I know I suck at the Photoshop. Third time I've used it for anything other than text though. You get the idea anyway.

May 24, 2003: 01:56
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Johnny Feng
Joined: May 11, 2002


quote:
CasperX came out of the closet to say:
[img-asscrash.jpg]


I think I blew a funny fuse. Nothing else I see in life will ever be as funny as this.

May 24, 2003: 02:00
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Dfuz
Joined: Sep 27, 2002


quote:
CasperX came out of the closet to say:
asscrash.jpg

For serious, I just swallowed my gum.

Foxtrot India Victor Echo

May 24, 2003: 02:06
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Lack-O-Pants
Joined: Jun 02, 2000


Keep your hands off my schtick, corndog!

If laughter is truly the best medicine...

THEN THIS THREAD CAN CURE FUCKING CANCER!*






*5

May 24, 2003: 02:07
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a bit slow
Joined: May 07, 2003

Huh?

May 24, 2003: 02:14
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FOOD!!!
Joined: Nov 26, 2002


Captain of the Assboat



After weeks of searching we almost gave up hope. Then finally on the last day, we saw it. The film is kind of grainy and the image blurred, but at long last we had our proof!

May 24, 2003: 02:19
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Deathscythe
Joined: Jun 03, 2001

Forum Veteran(not really)



sorry not very good

May 24, 2003: 02:23
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LurchDawg
Joined: Jan 01, 2003


Forum Dra-Goon

quote:
FOOD!!! came out of the closet to say:


After weeks of searching we almost gave up hope. Then finally on the last day, we saw it. The film is kind of grainy and the image blurred, but at long last we had our proof!



brilliant in every sense of the word

May 24, 2003: 02:24
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joeuser
Joined: Mar 21, 2002


quote:
Deathscythe came out of the closet to say:


sorry not very good



Excellent!

May 24, 2003: 02:26
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Pavlov's Dog
Joined: May 06, 2003

Point it over there and just let go.

If this has already been done (better of course) let me know, I've poked around but this thread is making my 56k cry...

May 24, 2003: 02:26
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Fuckstick
Joined: Nov 30, 2000


BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

This thread is making me hungry..


__________________

I put this here for me.

May 24, 2003: 02:51
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Merkin
Joined: Aug 16, 2002


Someone needs to do an assboat version of clockspider.

May 24, 2003: 02:59
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Swordfish
Joined: Aug 15, 2001

There is no God.

quick and dirty.

Swordfish decided to show you this image:

May 24, 2003: 03:04
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Dfuz
Joined: Sep 27, 2002


probably my lamest effort ever...

Dfuz decided to show you this image:

May 24, 2003: 03:13
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Fuckstick
Joined: Nov 30, 2000


BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

Okay, my first real attempt before I go to bed. I love this thread!

May 24, 2003: 03:17
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uoutf
Joined: May 03, 2003



quote:
Merkin came out of the closet to say:
Someone needs to do an assboat version of clockspider.


I have no PS skillz, so here is my lame attempt to tide us over until someone good comes along:

May 24, 2003: 03:19
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The Spookmaster
Joined: Sep 09, 2002


Every single image in this thread has been a fiver! KUDOS TO YOU ALL!

May 24, 2003: 03:23
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radium
Joined: Nov 09, 2001


Its obvious what it is...

radium decided to show you this image:

May 24, 2003: 03:25
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dloob
Joined: Nov 21, 2002


My first submitted photoshop, I have issues with the blur tool hurrrrr

May 24, 2003: 03:44
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alukaiser
Joined: Mar 23, 2003


All yur liberty r belong to us

quote:
CasperX came out of the closet to say:


I laughed the hardest at this one, thanks
5

May 24, 2003: 03:51
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DarthDommo
Joined: Feb 04, 2003



one day i will be rotting in the ground and nobody will ever know i existed or what i did or believed, but the fact that i have seen the assboat thread makes that inconsequential by comparison.

May 24, 2003: 03:52
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caldrax
Joined: Jan 20, 2001


edit, nevermind

caldrax fucked around with this message at May 24, 2003 around 04:22

May 24, 2003: 03:58
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fairietard
Joined: Feb 21, 2003


Possibly NWS:
http://www.buildersemporium.com/josh/toilet.jpg

May 24, 2003: 04:15
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eXistenZ
Joined: Jul 11, 2002

I buy forum accounts for homeless people.

quote:
nicrosin came out of the closet to say:
http://forums.somethingawful.com/attachment.php?s=&postid=277506361

No where enough love for this one.

May 24, 2003: 04:24
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caldrax
Joined: Jan 20, 2001


I have realized my vision!

Through horrible painstaking effort that no human should have to endure to make such a mediocre thing. I really should open up a manual instead of ripping my hair out every time i try to make a simple thing in imageready. Anyway, it's over a meg so I'm linking it. gif file.

http://216.75.225.152/caldrax/assboatattack.gif

May 24, 2003: 04:28
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Malfeasance!@
Joined: Feb 27, 2003


May 24, 2003: 04:29
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Anaclisis
Joined: Apr 18, 2003

Title text (optional)

OH MY

May 24, 2003: 04:44
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L33t_Kefka
Joined: Jul 16, 2000


quote:
Nevermore came out of the closet to say:



Watching this gif while humming the old "construction theme" (the one that went "DOM DA DAH, DADA DADA DA DA...ETC") from various looney tunes cartoons makes it 10 times funnier.

May 24, 2003: 05:42
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Innate
Joined: Feb 19, 2003

Innate

quote:
uoutf came out of the closet to say:


I have no PS skillz, so here is my lame attempt to tide us over until someone good comes along:

[img]ass_spider[/img]



5!

Also, this is one of the funniest threads ever! Drinking coffee while viewing this was not a good idea.

May 24, 2003: 05:53
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montanus
Joined: Feb 10, 2003


quote:
publicblast came out of the closet to say:
"artist"


Fuck you. Really. Without the work of this guy we wouldn't have had this hilarious thread. So, it's art, and he's an artist.

montanus fucked around with this message at May 24, 2003 around 07:06

May 24, 2003: 06:13
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albatross d
Joined: May 23, 2003

twenty-three?



Whee! PS - 5.

[Edit: Improved I think.]

albatross d fucked around with this message at May 24, 2003 around 16:30

May 24, 2003: 07:38
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HELLO.JPG
Joined: Jul 11, 2002


I <3 ASSBOAT

May 24, 2003: 08:02
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John_A_Tallon
Joined: Nov 22, 2000

Forum Veteran

quote:
publicblast came out of the closet to say:
Has anyone looked at the page of the "artist" who produced the assboat and the other fine works referred to on this thread? His name is Řyvind Suuls, and here's his rationale for his work, taken from his site:

How does this guy have a job and I don't?



He has a job because he created one for himself.

Art is the evolution of alternate expression, and as such it doesn't have to adhere to any one form. Mr. Suuls' work is just as valid as art as any of Pablo Picasso's or Henry Moore's works. In fact, Řyvind Suuls' work is an evolution of their work.

Furthermore, this thread and the photoshops contained within are a pictogram of the reactive process that he described in the paragraph that you quoted from his website. We reacted exactly the way he wanted us to. We questioned it, we examined it, and then we went to work making some sense of it by inserting it into various fantastic and mundane situations and sharing the end result with each other.

May 24, 2003: 08:28
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CupBoy
Joined: Aug 07, 2002

King of the World

^^^Amen.

Edit:


..and

CupBoy fucked around with this message at May 24, 2003 around 08:37

May 24, 2003: 08:32
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elwood
Joined: Mar 28, 2001


Shadayim

edit: wrong picture

elwood fucked around with this message at May 24, 2003 around 08:41

May 24, 2003: 08:39
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elwood
Joined: Mar 28, 2001


Shadayim

Why reasonable people go stark raving mad when anything involving an assboat comes up, is something I don't pretend to understand. ~Atticus, Chapter 9

elwood decided to show you this image:

elwood fucked around with this message at May 24, 2003 around 08:47

May 24, 2003: 08:43
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Intel&Sebastian
Joined: Oct 20, 2002


There are some disturbingly quality photoshops coming out of this

May 24, 2003: 09:19
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fuckingtest
Joined: Mar 31, 2001


beware the naked astroman

Ok so I was sorta E;f;b but only because 3dsmax pissed me off.


quote:
In this pivotal FX-laden shot from "THE ASSBOATMATRIX" The lead character ASSBOAT dodges a bullet fired from AGENT MANCHAIR as the camera freezes into ass-time, a sequence where cinematography slows to a crawl while the camera spins 360 degrees around the two actors.

image Courtesy of "THE ASSMATRIX" ©2000 Ass Brothers pictures

May 24, 2003: 09:21
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xlars
Joined: Jan 28, 2002


quote:
publicblast came out of the closet to say:
Has anyone looked at the page of the "artist" who produced the assboat and the other fine works referred to on this thread? His name is Řyvind Suuls, and here's his rationale for his work, taken from his site:



[B]...influence and stimulate the viewers perception and imagination[/B}

Dude, that's exactly what he did, he knew exactly what he was doing when he built an inscrutable, vaguely creepy assboat; hence, 5 pages of thought about his screwed up creation.

May 24, 2003: 09:37
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ProjektorBoy
Joined: Jun 18, 2002


I fuck linen in my spare time!

Too flagrant, maybe?


THE IMPENETRABLE ANUS

ProjektorBoy decided to show you this image:

May 24, 2003: 09:43
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Captain Juarez
Joined: Jan 31, 2002


 

Captain Juarez decided to show you this image:

Captain Juarez fucked around with this message at May 24, 2003 around 10:22

May 24, 2003: 09:59
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mortalenema
Joined: Sep 11, 2002


Ahoy there, sthailor!

May 24, 2003: 10:13
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slavboy
Joined: Jul 10, 2000


Copies of this thread need to be included in those fucking space probes they shoot out to prove our planet contains intelligent life.

May 24, 2003: 10:23
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unruly
Joined: May 11, 2002


wow....

best thread in a long time.

May 24, 2003: 10:26
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Gabby_Jay
Joined: Dec 14, 2000


I wondered if anything could be as funny as the first few photoshops in this thread, but then comes the AT-AssTs and fuckingtest's 3Dmax handy work and...AHAHHAHAAHHAhaOSdiaslakdjnlad,,m,m./../.

May 24, 2003: 10:48
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caldrax
Joined: Jan 20, 2001


quote:
fuckingtest came out of the closet to say:
image Courtesy of "THE ASSMATRIX" ©2000 Ass Brothers pictures


This deserves a big fat holy shit.

May 24, 2003: 10:52
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DogWelder
Joined: Jan 15, 2001


"Monsters?"

quote:
caldrax came out of the closet to say:
This deserves a big fat holy shit.


Seconded.

Edit - Whoa, I hadn't voted yet. Cha-CHING!

May 24, 2003: 11:05
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GlowingFauxPas
Joined: Jul 24, 2002


TraditiOWNED

quote:
fuckingtest came out of the closet to say:
Ok so I was sorta E;f;b but only because 3dsmax pissed me off.



image Courtesy of "THE ASSMATRIX" ©2000 Ass Brothers pictures


OMG!

I knew what it was even before the caption.

Comedy Uranium


edit: Someone please buy FOOD!!! an assboat avatar. He deserves it.

GlowingFauxPas fucked around with this message at May 24, 2003 around 11:14

May 24, 2003: 11:06
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xlars
Joined: Jan 28, 2002


I was compelled to work with the assboat
i suppose TylerK did it first but still


the hardest part was splitting out the limbs, the shadow is a moving path
you may build on the photoshop file, including the ass-y job i did on the background, if that's your bag
http://mortal.peril.org/lars/sa/legendwlk1.psd
the assboat toolkit if you will

xlars fucked around with this message at May 24, 2003 around 11:13

May 24, 2003: 11:10
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Tr0m0s
Joined: Apr 02, 2003

Skull Leader

quote:
fuckingtest came out of the closet to say:
Ok so I was sorta E;f;b but only because 3dsmax pissed me off.



image Courtesy of "THE ASSMATRIX" ©2000 Ass Brothers pictures



You just blew my mind. Excellent job. Did you model the helicopter yourself? Awesome work

__________________
If you don't like my comments, leave or risk further subjecting yourself to them.

May 24, 2003: 11:25
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Bouchehog
Joined: Dec 19, 2002


The Campaign for Badger Rights

Some truly magnificent work here boys! (although Malfeasance is clearly going to hell)

May 24, 2003: 12:05
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Technogeek
Joined: Sep 08, 2002

Luckily, I had .

I woke up, saw this thread, and am in a greater mood than ever before because of it.

Five. TWICE.

May 24, 2003: 12:33
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Frits
Joined: Aug 03, 2002


quote:
RealTimePicnic came out of the closet to say:

I just can't stop laughing! You win!

5.

May 24, 2003: 12:36
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Pavil
Joined: May 02, 2003

New, does it matter?




fark fark fark

May 24, 2003: 13:16
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Big Mark
Joined: Feb 04, 2003


Don't be a monas.

For the love of Jebus, someone who isn't bad at these things teach me how to make them less crap... farkfark alert.

Linked for remote chance of NWSness, I suppose...

May 24, 2003: 13:20
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subreality
Joined: Oct 04, 2002


tin foil cat

Oh holy poopstick!
THIS is why the internet exists... Jesus fuck,...

I'm not going to quote any of the Shopses, because they're all worth a big fat FIVE independently.

5.

May 24, 2003: 13:33
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Phat_Albert
Joined: Jun 06, 2001


Researchers Log: May 24, 2003

I have learned much about the assboat during the short period of time I hve spent with it. I have learned how it moves, how it mates and how it feeds. Late last night, while looking over some notes about its home planet, Uranus, I realized something, the assboat can think, it can reason, and most frighteningly, it can feel. Now I am plagued with the constant knowledge that the assboat might be sad, it might be happy, or when it invites me to "take a ride on the four-cheek express", it might just be horny.

May 24, 2003: 13:42
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Long Hill Avenue
Joined: Mar 17, 2003


Stick Figure Chic

Filthy hippies.



(Sorry I have nowhere near the talent to've attempted this. to this thread.)

May 24, 2003: 13:45
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Particle Man
Joined: May 10, 2003



thongboat!

May 24, 2003: 13:58
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OpaqueEcho
Joined: Feb 08, 2003


quote:
Swordfish came out of the closet to say:
quick and dirty.


Beautiful.

May 24, 2003: 14:34
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Lowtax
Joined: Nov 15, 1999


this thread represents everything that is wonderful about the SA Forums

May 24, 2003: 15:03
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Bonk
Joined: Aug 03, 2002


quote:
L33t_Kefka came out of the closet to say:


Watching this gif while humming the old "construction theme" (the one that went "DOM DA DAH, DADA DADA DA DA...ETC") from various looney tunes cartoons makes it 10 times funnier.



You need to download Soul Coughing's "Bus to Beelzebub". It starts out with that theme.

I love how I knew exactly what you were talking about.

Also, ASSBOAT 4-EVA.

May 24, 2003: 15:14
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Hallucinogenic Toreador
Joined: Nov 21, 2000


May 24, 2003: 15:20
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Ninjakitten
Joined: Sep 14, 2002


cute. soft. deadly.

quote:
Malfeasance!@ came out of the closet to say:
[img-assboatchrist]
Oh my fucking god this is hilarious. 5555555. I'm taking this thread to Vegas to get hitched by an Elvis impersonator.

May 24, 2003: 16:17
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Pavlov's Dog
Joined: May 06, 2003

Point it over there and just let go.

Pavlov's Dog fucked around with this message at May 24, 2003 around 17:04

May 24, 2003: 16:20
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RichLather
Joined: Mar 04, 2003


Just your average Civil War reenacting, video editing, anime watching, badfilm loving goon.

The term "asstastic" will never, ever be the same. A single five is nowhere near enough.

May 24, 2003: 16:20
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Allen's Wrench
Joined: Apr 02, 2003


It's all you get.

Not only that, the SA forums are now the only place in the universe where calling someone an assboat is going to be considered somewhat of a backhanded compliment.

May 24, 2003: 16:46
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LurchDawg
Joined: Jan 01, 2003


Forum Dra-Goon

I and the boat both love me some Bruce Cambell




edit:
If anyone with more talent wants a crack at making the assboat the cult hero. I could provide the original.

LurchDawg fucked around with this message at May 24, 2003 around 16:55

May 24, 2003: 16:49
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mortalenema
Joined: Sep 11, 2002


sorry

May 24, 2003: 16:51
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Ninjakitten
Joined: Sep 14, 2002


cute. soft. deadly.

Good clean fun for the whole family.

May 24, 2003: 16:58
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mortalenema
Joined: Sep 11, 2002


May 24, 2003: 17:32
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Luigi's Discount Porn Bin
Joined: Jul 19, 2000


Good idea, horrible execution.

May 24, 2003: 17:35
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OpaqueEcho
Joined: Feb 08, 2003


quote:
Luigi's Discount Porn Bin came out of the closet to say:
Good idea, horrible execution.




I think its wonderful, sir. Never let anyone tell your otherwise.

May 24, 2003: 17:37
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GlowingFauxPas
Joined: Jul 24, 2002


TraditiOWNED

quote:
mortalenema came out of the closet to say:



KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT

May 24, 2003: 17:59
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MadBoar
Joined: Apr 16, 2003


Trolling at the speed of sound.

quote:
Luigi's Discount Porn Bin came out of the closet to say:
Good idea, horrible execution.




I didn't scroll down all the way. I ed

I finished scrolling. I ed

May 24, 2003: 18:10
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Rebel Lion
Joined: Jul 09, 2001


I like you, do you like me?

May 24, 2003: 18:16
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Pimpbot5000
Joined: Jan 02, 2001


quote:
Rebel Lion came out of the closet to say:



That is beautiful. This thread is simply amazing.

May 24, 2003: 18:28
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Poltergeist
Joined: Jul 26, 2002


quote:
FOOD!!! came out of the closet to say:
[img - lochnessassboat]

After weeks of searching we almost gave up hope. Then finally on the last day, we saw it. The film is kind of grainy and the image blurred, but at long last we had our proof!



Bravo

May 24, 2003: 18:31
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fuckingtest
Joined: Mar 31, 2001


beware the naked astroman

quote:
Tr0m0s came out of the closet to say:


You just blew my mind. Excellent job. Did you model the helicopter yourself? Awesome work



Naw, the model is a freebie off of 3dcafe.com, Im no max expert, I just happened to have the file laying around from the monocle battle we had awhile back. Too bad I no zero about character rigging, because I'd really like to animate it.

Also, this thread kicks ass and RealTimePicnic beat me to posting the image.

May 24, 2003: 18:34
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The Letter A
Joined: Nov 08, 2002



This is the best thread I have ever seen.

May 24, 2003: 18:37
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mortalenema
Joined: Sep 11, 2002



Let us pray.

Prayer in Praise of Ass-Boat's Greatness

Almighty, true and incomparable Ass-Boat, you are present in all things, yet in no way limited by them. You remain unaffected by place, untouched by time(if not photoshop), unperturbed by years, and undeceived by words. You are not subject to birth and in no need of protection. You are beyond all corruption, immutable by nature. You live in unapproachable light and are a freaky double-assed boat thing, yet you are known to all those who seek you with hope and love. You are the God of teh funny, and of all who hope in ass.

Amen.

May 24, 2003: 18:43
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CupBoy
Joined: Aug 07, 2002

King of the World

quote:
Rebel Lion came out of the closet to say:
[img-tiananmen]

Fuck. I should've just gone to bed. Beaten I am.

May 24, 2003: 19:06
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MadBoar
Joined: Apr 16, 2003


Trolling at the speed of sound.

please forgive me, I suck at the internet.

http://www.lowta.cx/upload/asspipes1.01.jpg

May 24, 2003: 19:10
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Pavil
Joined: May 02, 2003

New, does it matter?

has the guy who made the thing in the first place been sent a link to this?

May 24, 2003: 19:12
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numchuck
Joined: May 08, 2003

I'm a stupid newbie.

May 24, 2003: 19:32
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Nevermore
Joined: May 11, 2003



The stadium echoes with cheers as the Atlanta Assboats claim yet another victory.

May 24, 2003: 20:12
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Edge
Joined: Feb 16, 2003


New Flavor: Fried Bear!

quote:
mindofme came out of the closet to say:
Holy shit. I join, and I see the hilarity. Dish out the 5's when appropriate. Now THIS thread comes along and makes me feel guilty for all those other 5s.

Kudos to all the photoshoppers\finders in the thread.

But I do have a question..what do you do when there's a leak in the assboat?



butt plug. oh wait... that was a rhetorical question wasn't it?


"Holy shit, our assboat just sprung a leak... of shit!"
"you know what to do."
"NO, no, not the butt plug!"
"exactly"

May 24, 2003: 20:34
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Malfeasance!@
Joined: Feb 27, 2003


This was the very first idea I had, but I couldn't find the video. Now that I have....

May 24, 2003: 20:40
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grahamX0r
Joined: Dec 23, 2002


is probably bitching.



I realise that this isn't fantastic, but I wanted to do the shuttle dammit, alnd all the OMG-LOOKIT-FOAM pics were just too blurry.

May 24, 2003: 20:43
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TheHawke
Joined: Jul 30, 2002


Kasparov is my bitch

quote:
CasperX came out of the closet to say:



I was gonna be right on this. Ah well, I'm ass at drawing anyway.

May 24, 2003: 20:55
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JimE
Joined: Jul 15, 2002


Paging OMGWTFBBQ to thread 532318

This has got to go frontpage. Some of the best work of the forums. Good work everyone.

May 24, 2003: 21:27
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exploitedtroll
Joined: Mar 30, 2003


yes

exploitedtroll decided to show you this image:

May 24, 2003: 21:40
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LurchDawg
Joined: Jan 01, 2003


Forum Dra-Goon

quote:
JimE came out of the closet to say:
Paging OMGWTFBBQ to thread 532318

This has got to go frontpage. Some of the best work of the forums. Good work everyone.



that's why it's stuck

May 24, 2003: 21:42
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roscoe pomp
Joined: Apr 22, 2003


edit: Okay, I'll put it back if somebody likes it.

Sorry, I'm a newbie and I'm terrified of being banned

http://students.imsa.edu/~cecilia/assboatricedout.jpg

roscoe pomp fucked around with this message at May 24, 2003 around 22:23

May 24, 2003: 22:00
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exploitedtroll
Joined: Mar 30, 2003


quote:
roscoe pomp came out of the closet to say:
I know this sucks. But I thought the joke had to be made.

[url]typeR.jpg[url]



I dont think it did

May 24, 2003: 22:05
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OpaqueEcho
Joined: Feb 08, 2003


quote:
roscoe pomp came out of the closet to say:
I know this sucks. But I thought the joke had to be made.

http://students.imsa.edu/~cecilia/assboatricedout.jpg



I don't think it sucked, either. I ed at the tailpipe...perfect!

May 24, 2003: 22:13
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Saepiroth
Joined: Apr 06, 2002


Can't stop the rock!

This thread is perfect.

May 24, 2003: 22:16
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Bruco
Joined: Jul 08, 2000

Forum Veteran

quote:
Pavlov's Dog came out of the closet to say:



Heh heh heh. Indeed.

May 24, 2003: 22:54
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Meatball
Joined: Mar 02, 2003


That's a Spicy Meatball

yes this is the funniest thing i have ever read


EVAR


5

May 24, 2003: 23:08
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Incest
Joined: Feb 23, 2003


I laughed so hard tears even came out.


Voted 5.


Edit: I'm an attention whore

Incest fucked around with this message at May 25, 2003 around 01:20

May 24, 2003: 23:11
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grahamX0r
Joined: Dec 23, 2002


is probably bitching.

quote:
Incest came out of the closet to say:
This has to be the best birthday present I've ever received. EVER.

I laughed so hard tears even came out, and that doesn't happen since recently I've been going through an apathy/desensitization phase.



Most "Oh, by the way, I'm a complete attention whore" post ever. EVAR.

May 24, 2003: 23:24
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Gromit
Joined: Aug 15, 2000


We've been hit!


That was a complete pain in the assboat. Click here for the original.

Gromit fucked around with this message at May 24, 2003 around 23:45

May 24, 2003: 23:38
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grahamX0r
Joined: Dec 23, 2002


is probably bitching.

That's REALLY excellent.

May 24, 2003: 23:40
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Allen's Wrench
Joined: Apr 02, 2003


It's all you get.

Seconded. Nice work!!!!!!!!!!

May 24, 2003: 23:42
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HPL
Joined: Aug 27, 2002


Still waiting for the Holy Assgrenade of Antioch.

May 24, 2003: 23:48
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NekoboyEriku
Joined: May 10, 2003

What the shit is this?!

Wonder what it would be like to be resuced by the Coast Guard while unfortunally floating along on one of those babies.

Oh, and, Nice ass.

May 24, 2003: 23:56
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Ninjakitten
Joined: Sep 14, 2002


cute. soft. deadly.

May 25, 2003: 00:21
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Alaska
Joined: Sep 03, 2002


Only science can make the connections

quote:
CasperX came out of the closet to say:



Holy crap, I took that picture back when an accident happened out in front of my house.

I recognize the glowing firemen any day.

May 25, 2003: 00:39
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grahamX0r
Joined: Dec 23, 2002


is probably bitching.

quote:
Alaska came out of the closet to say:


Holy crap, I took that picture back when an accident happened out in front of my house.

I recognize the glowing firemen any day.



In Germany?

May 25, 2003: 00:43
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Pavil
Joined: May 02, 2003

New, does it matter?

quote:
grahamX0r came out of the closet to say:


In Germany?




With a horse?

May 25, 2003: 00:50
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HPL
Joined: Aug 27, 2002


quote:
Alaska came out of the closet to say:

I recognize the glowing firemen any day.



Looks like the Tron characters escaped into the real world.

May 25, 2003: 00:51
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ANAmal.net
Joined: Mar 02, 2002

Loved by Laura until the internet made me stupid. It was like WOAH!

quote:
Pavil came out of the closet to say:



With a horse?



That was such a great thread. So many bad jokes...

May 25, 2003: 01:00
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Tepid
Joined: Jan 15, 2002


quote:
grahamX0r came out of the closet to say:
Most "Oh, by the way, I'm a complete attention whore" post ever. EVAR.

You haven't been here that long, please shut up about EVAR. Ass.

May 25, 2003: 01:01
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CasperX
Joined: Feb 19, 2001


quote:
Alaska came out of the closet to say:


Holy crap, I took that picture back when an accident happened out in front of my house.

I recognize the glowing firemen any day.



It was a picture of a horse that jumped through the windshield of a car on the Autobahn, I distinctly remember some goon posting a thread about it with a link to the original story on some German news site.

May 25, 2003: 01:01
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Cypher-One
Joined: Feb 25, 2003


snoochie boochies

May 25, 2003: 01:21
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JackBoCracken
Joined: May 27, 2001


Just.




Wow.



No words...

May 25, 2003: 01:29
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Pavil
Joined: May 02, 2003

New, does it matter?

quote:
Tepid came out of the closet to say:

You haven't been here that long, please shut up about EVAR. Ass.




i didnt realise that you had to earn the right to jump on your bandwagons

now dry those eyes and lets keep this thread in the upbeat mood

May 25, 2003: 01:48
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Gromit
Joined: Aug 15, 2000


We've been hit!

May 6th 1937. Disaster befalls the majestic airship Assenburg. The massive payload of methane, produced internally and used for lifting, is ignited on an errant spark.

Gromit decided to show you this image:

May 25, 2003: 01:50
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Dragobich
Joined: Jan 04, 2001



I'm sorry I don't know what I was thinking.

May 25, 2003: 01:55
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Tepid
Joined: Jan 15, 2002


Bit of a rush job, but it is late and the Guinness is here.

May 25, 2003: 02:18
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Tepid
Joined: Jan 15, 2002


quote:
Pavil came out of the closet to say:
i didnt realise that you had to earn the right to jump on your bandwagons

now dry those eyes and lets keep this thread in the upbeat mood


I have no bandwagon. You can shut the fuck up too, and use the SHIFT key.

Dragobich's plunger.gif makes me happy.

May 25, 2003: 02:24
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The Spookmaster
Joined: Sep 09, 2002


quote:
Hallucinogenic Toreador came out of the closet to say:



This needs SO much more love.

May 25, 2003: 02:27
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Pavil
Joined: May 02, 2003

New, does it matter?

quote:
Tepid came out of the closet to say:

I have no bandwagon. You can shut the fuck up too, and use the SHIFT key.

Dragobich's plunger.gif makes me happy.




what a fucking troll.

next please!

May 25, 2003: 03:28
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Gromit
Joined: Aug 15, 2000


We've been hit!

Why don't the pair of you STFU and just post some images?

May 25, 2003: 03:38
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cowofwar
Joined: Jul 29, 2002


quote:
Pavil came out of the closet to say:



what a fucking troll.

next please!


Both of you get the hell out of this thread. You're shitting in the goldmine.

May 25, 2003: 03:57
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CupBoy
Joined: Aug 07, 2002

King of the World

May 25, 2003: 04:40
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MSCaptain
Joined: Apr 01, 2002


quote:
Malfeasance!@ came out of the closet to say:
This was the very first idea I had, but I couldn't find the video. Now that I have....




May 25, 2003: 04:46
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Knormal
Joined: Nov 11, 2001




I've messed with this thing for about an hour now and still can't get that assboat to look natural there. I admit defeat.

May 25, 2003: 05:01
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L33t_Kefka
Joined: Jul 16, 2000


quote:
Gromit came out of the closet to say:

That was a complete pain in the assboat. Click here for the original.



OMG FUCK YES!!!!!!!!11

May 25, 2003: 05:07
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Ansiktsburk
Joined: Feb 19, 2001

Poster Girl for an Asshole-free SA

quote:
CupBoy came out of the closet to say:
ass_skriget.jpg
And all I can do is stare. Awesome.

May 25, 2003: 05:41
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altan
Joined: Apr 16, 2003

Poster boy for Zoloft.

http://www.lombak.com/lombakv2.swf <--- Animated ass-to-ass organism, walking

altan decided to show you this image:

May 25, 2003: 06:37
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Chase
Joined: Apr 30, 2002


So did anyone email Oyvind about this yet? I was going to but I didn't want to spam him.

May 25, 2003: 07:46
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wildmamboqueen
Joined: May 30, 2001


All this sci-fi made me think of this...

wildmamboqueen decided to show you this image:

May 25, 2003: 08:24
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Gromit
Joined: Aug 15, 2000


We've been hit!

^^^^ I was going to try and do an assboat sandworm but couldn't find a decent enough source image. As it is, the 3rd stage guild assboat is a great idea but hell to implement.

May 25, 2003: 08:30
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RChimpCola
Joined: Jul 10, 2001


Thanks to you all, this is all I'll be able to think about at work.



I love this.

__________________
RChimpCola -- Just Because

May 25, 2003: 08:52
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Pavlov's Dog
Joined: May 06, 2003

Point it over there and just let go.

May 25, 2003: 09:14
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SpiDeR
Joined: Apr 30, 2002


Step on Spider!

Jesus-H-Hilarity.

May 25, 2003: 09:26
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Gromit
Joined: Aug 15, 2000


We've been hit!

Pavlov's Dog, am I missing the joke or are you playing the old "combine 2 random images" game?

May 25, 2003: 09:32
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Bonk
Joined: Aug 03, 2002


^^^Well, on that note, how much more random can you get than an assboat?



This would have made the movie so much better...

May 25, 2003: 09:34
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Rocket-Nuts
Joined: Aug 31, 2001


quote:
Gromit came out of the closet to say:

That was a complete pain in the assboat. Click here for the original.



But but but

jesus H Christ. That's just

Fuck.

May 25, 2003: 10:11
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Bradb
Joined: Aug 18, 2000

Forum Veteran

quote:
Dragobich came out of the closet to say:
I'm sorry I don't know what I was thinking.


IT doesn't matter, that's hilarious!

May 25, 2003: 10:33
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Rate
thread: 
This thread sucks ass. This is not a good thread. This is a mediocre thread. This is a somewhat entertaining thread. Excellent thread!
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