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The Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > What the hell is this!?!? Thread Rating: 962 votes, 4.96 average. (3): 1 2 3  
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FOOD!!!
Joined: Nov 26, 2002


Captain of the Assboat

I was looking for pictures from the movie Legend when I ran into this. It looks like some sort of ass-boat.

May 23, 2003: 01:56
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talkingapple
Joined: Apr 23, 2003


whao dude wuz dat my mom hurry spray teh lysol

isn't it obvious?

May 23, 2003: 01:57
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sigtrap
Joined: Apr 14, 2002



A "hippo erotica" themed desk set.

May 23, 2003: 01:57
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Inspector Chan
Joined: Jul 08, 2002


Fight now. Ask questions later.

ass2ass

May 23, 2003: 01:59
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Erebus
Joined: Jul 13, 2001


nutterbutter2nutterbutter

May 23, 2003: 02:00
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inactive_
Joined: Feb 12, 2001


Thats what you ride when you're up shit creek. HAR!

May 23, 2003: 02:00
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deaders
Joined: Jun 14, 2002


Yep thats definitely an Ass Boat.

May 23, 2003: 02:05
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neato burrito
Joined: Aug 25, 2002


i brought chex mix

assboat is the new mike.jpg

May 23, 2003: 02:06
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Stormfang1502
Joined: Jan 25, 2003

?

Turd Burglar Minesweeper

May 23, 2003: 02:07
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DannyManic
Joined: Jul 15, 2001


Tarzan Boy

Well ain't that some shit!

May 23, 2003: 02:09
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dooshy
Joined: Feb 09, 2003

typical.

quote:
inactive_ came out of the closet to say:
Thats what you ride when you're up shit creek. HAR!
stfu assboat

May 23, 2003: 02:09
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Adam Atomic
Joined: Nov 20, 2002


No Blood for Oil
Don't Blame Me, I Voted for Gore

An assboat WITH COCK OARS

May 23, 2003: 02:10
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Bali
Joined: Jan 15, 2001


buttcanoe

May 23, 2003: 02:17
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robby5150
Joined: Dec 18, 2002


A 3D model of the hit Atari 2600 game "Ass Cannon"

May 23, 2003: 02:18
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caldrax
Joined: Jan 20, 2001


May 23, 2003: 02:37
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eXXon
Joined: Aug 19, 2002


I don't have time to bleed!

quote:
caldrax came out of the closet to say:
img-manchair


Priceless.

May 23, 2003: 02:38
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TylerK
Joined: Jan 15, 2001

FOR SERIOUS.

ASSMECH!

IS IT COMING OR GOING? NO ONE KNOWS!

May 23, 2003: 02:43
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r0b0t parade
Joined: Nov 08, 2002


hahhahaahhhaha

May 23, 2003: 02:45
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Ka0
Joined: Sep 15, 2002


quote:
TylerK came out of the closet to say:
ASSMECH!

IS IT COMING OR GOING? NO ONE KNOWS!





[img]lolexplosion(/img]

May 23, 2003: 02:45
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Bugaboo
Joined: Jan 21, 2001

FREE T-SHIRTS

quote:
caldrax came out of the closet to say:
img-manchair
PERFECTION.

May 23, 2003: 02:45
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Liquidex
Joined: Aug 30, 2000


Some of us had never seen the sky, while others had never seen the ground.

quote:
caldrax came out of the closet to say:



Somehow, someone always manages to do the PERFECT thing at the PERFECT time in these sorta threads and you spend the rest of the night kicking yourself for not thinking of it.

Hats off.

May 23, 2003: 02:47
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The Human Crouton
Joined: Sep 19, 2002



I'm confused. What function could that possible have?

The Human Crouton fucked around with this message at May 23, 2003 around 02:54

May 23, 2003: 02:51
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Chaucer
Joined: May 12, 2001


He was a veray parfit gentil knight.

quote:
caldrax came out of the closet to say:
[img-manboat.jpg]
Wow, just....wow.

May 23, 2003: 02:51
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Inspector Chan
Joined: Jul 08, 2002


Fight now. Ask questions later.

quote:
Liquidex came out of the closet to say:


Somehow, someone always manages to do the PERFECT thing at the PERFECT time in these sorta threads and you spend the rest of the night kicking yourself for not thinking of it.

Hats off.



Exactly, only on SA. Not only was it perfect, but he didn't say a single thing. He just let the perfection shine.

May 23, 2003: 02:52
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Mackieman
Joined: Jan 10, 2003


Hahaha that's

May 23, 2003: 02:53
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cowofwar
Joined: Jul 29, 2002


Holy shit, I'm crying with laughter. This is the first truly hilarious thread I've read in a while.

Thank you, Caldrax.

May 23, 2003: 02:59
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Wedesdo
Joined: Jun 15, 2001


quote:
caldrax came out of the closet to say:

I just died laughing. You own me a new life.

5.

May 23, 2003: 03:01
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Yawgatog
Joined: Jul 05, 2002

b0x0rz r0x0r

Arr.

Yawgatog decided to show you this image:

May 23, 2003: 03:02
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olaf2022
Joined: Feb 18, 2003


quote:
caldrax came out of the closet to say:

quote:
Liquidex came out of the closet to say:


Somehow, someone always manages to do the PERFECT thing at the PERFECT time in these sorta threads and you spend the rest of the night kicking yourself for not thinking of it.

Hats off.

Agreed. Nice.

May 23, 2003: 03:07
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Kur0
Joined: Dec 13, 2002


Saying so, he took down the fastner of a crotch.

quote:
Yawgatog came out of the closet to say:
ass pirate ship

May 23, 2003: 03:07
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HeyJude369
Joined: Oct 10, 2000


My love for Nigel goes to 11

hahah this is hilarious!!! please find out what it is


oh and 5 for the asschair and the pirate (or gay themed cruise?) ship. those made me

May 23, 2003: 03:14
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HeyJude369
Joined: Oct 10, 2000


My love for Nigel goes to 11

edit not quote damn it

May 23, 2003: 03:15
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Pebby
Joined: Jun 16, 2001


BEHIND THE CURVE

This reminds me of 'Props' on Whose Line is it Anyway. Whatever the hell that is, I want it.

May 23, 2003: 03:39
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Pilsner
Joined: Nov 22, 2002


Flat Beat

quote:
TylerK came out of the closet to say:
ASSMECH!

IS IT COMING OR GOING? NO ONE KNOWS!

hahahahahah. the ship was great too. i smell potential.

May 23, 2003: 03:45
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DannyManic
Joined: Jul 15, 2001


Tarzan Boy

Wow, I voted this thread 5 even before the assmech and the manchair, and now I somehow feel cheated cause I can't rate it 5 again.

May 23, 2003: 03:48
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Shady Lane
Joined: Jul 21, 2002


short penis with plunger legs

May 23, 2003: 03:52
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Doccers
Joined: Aug 15, 2001


You broke my fucking brain, caldrax.

May 23, 2003: 03:56
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Inspector Chan
Joined: Jul 08, 2002


Fight now. Ask questions later.

quote:
DannyManic came out of the closet to say:
Wow, I voted this thread 5 even before the assmech and the manchair, and now I somehow feel cheated cause I can't rate it 5 again.


Voted 5 for you.

May 23, 2003: 03:57
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heathersucks
Joined: Apr 22, 2003


let's makeout

quote:
Doccers came out of the closet to say:
You broke my fucking brain, caldrax.


quoted for truth

__________________
unklebob is my forum daddy. lolincestlol.
official devil is man fangirl

Matriarch /Baker of Cookies

May 23, 2003: 03:58
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J
Joined: Jun 10, 2001


Holy shit these are hilarious.

May 23, 2003: 04:00
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G. Hosafat
Joined: Apr 16, 2003

I WANT TO RAPE YOUR FACE

The manchair looks like he has giant testicles.

May 23, 2003: 04:06
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Gromit
Joined: Aug 15, 2000


We've been hit!

<spoiler>http://www.suul.info/html/gallery.htm - the guy is a freak.
SPOILERED to not ruin the innocent Photoshop extravaganza</spoiler>

edit: unSPOILERed as people seem to want more of this crazy gear.

Gromit fucked around with this message at May 24, 2003 around 03:51

May 23, 2003: 04:10
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Nando
Joined: May 03, 2002


quote:
caldrax came out of the closet to say:



Whenever I wonder to myself, "Why did I buy a membership to the forums?" I will only have to think of this image and I will know the answer.


5.

May 23, 2003: 04:17
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Treytor
Joined: Feb 07, 2003

WOW I WAS ALMOST BANNED

dude... "It's just a box"

what's that from and you win

May 23, 2003: 04:29
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No. 6
Joined: Jun 30, 2002


Wow, a great thread materializes out of nowhere. 5

May 23, 2003: 04:32
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Velocity Gnome
Joined: Oct 04, 2001

Have a fun!

Voted and crying of laughter, caldrax I love you.

May 23, 2003: 04:39
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ProjektorBoy
Joined: Jun 18, 2002


I fuck linen in my spare time!

Stamped. Signed. Sealed. Goldmined.

May 23, 2003: 04:41
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FOOD!!!
Joined: Nov 26, 2002


Captain of the Assboat

It's no manboat, but it's the best I could do...

May 23, 2003: 04:56
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rivetz
Joined: Sep 22, 2000

wait a second here...



"The fading daylight signals the coming of dusk to the silent forest. A blissful silence settles across the scene, marred only by the mournful farting of the female assboat, honking gentle instructions to her brood as she skillfully guides them back to the assnest (not pictured)."

May 23, 2003: 04:57
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humantis
Joined: May 10, 2003

bottomfeeder

I look forward to the day when the little assboats grow up and have little assboats of their own, concluding the circle of life!

May 23, 2003: 05:01
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Luigi's Discount Porn Bin
Joined: Jul 19, 2000


It's been way too long since a thread made me cry with laughter.

May 23, 2003: 05:03
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Bonk
Joined: Aug 03, 2002


quote:
rivetz came out of the closet to say:
"The fading daylight signals the coming of dusk to the silent forest. A blissful silence settles across the scene, marred only by the mournful farting of the female assboat, honking gentle instructions to her brood as she skillfully guides them back to the assnest (not pictured)."



AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

May 23, 2003: 05:04
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Scott808
Joined: Jul 11, 2001


quote:
caldrax came out of the closet to say:
[img - manboat.jpg]


I am laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes. And whenever I stop laughing I run into it again because someone quoted it and I start laughing again.

5!

May 23, 2003: 05:05
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Iridium
Joined: Apr 04, 2002


And come I shall, no matter what the laws of life and death forbid.

quote:
Gromit came out of the closet to say:
http://www.suul.info/html/gallery.htm - the guy is a freak.
SPOILERED to not ruin the innocent Photoshop extravaganza



Dude, don't spoiler that. There's a freakin goldmine in that thar website.

May 23, 2003: 05:05
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MAGNUM FORCE
Joined: May 03, 2003


(fmrly "buttwurst", reg. date 01/02)

I'll tell you what that is.

That is art.

May 23, 2003: 05:06
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Colton
Joined: Mar 30, 2003

<pretend this is something very witty and it made you laugh>

ok, so what would be the swimming assboat's natural predator? Any ideas, anyone? Better yet, any photoshops? (I'd do one about cockcougars, but I'm photoshop impaired)

May 23, 2003: 05:07
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Iridium
Joined: Apr 04, 2002


And come I shall, no matter what the laws of life and death forbid.

quote:
Colton came out of the closet to say:
ok, so what would be the swimming assboat's natural predator? Any ideas, anyone? Better yet, any photoshops? (I'd do one about cockcougars, but I'm photoshop impaired)


That would be one of these:

Iridium decided to show you this image:

May 23, 2003: 05:08
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Luigi's Discount Porn Bin
Joined: Jul 19, 2000


quote:
Iridium came out of the closet to say:
Dude, don't spoiler that. There's a freakin goldmine in that thar website.


http://www.suul.info/Images/speil.jpg

See, I never would have thought of plugging my lungs into a wall socket.

May 23, 2003: 05:08
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ironlung
Joined: Dec 31, 2001


It's coming home late at night to threads like these that make me love the forums.

May 23, 2003: 05:10
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Iridium
Joined: Apr 04, 2002


And come I shall, no matter what the laws of life and death forbid.

This is some damned unusual but interesting art here.

I dub this one "Oddjob Mates with Pele"

Iridium decided to show you this image:

May 23, 2003: 05:11
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Knormal
Joined: Nov 11, 2001



Ahh, the eternal battle between scale and recognizability.

May 23, 2003: 05:12
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Allen's Wrench
Joined: Apr 02, 2003


It's all you get.

quote:
Iridium came out of the closet to say:
I dub this one "Oddjob Mates with Pele"
That is nothing short of extraordinary.

May 23, 2003: 05:19
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ELeeming
Joined: Apr 15, 2003

Cultured

quote:
rivetz came out of the closet to say:
http://users.easystreet.com/dwatson/asspond.jpg

"The fading daylight signals the coming of dusk to the silent forest. A blissful silence settles across the scene, marred only by the mournful farting of the female assboat, honking gentle instructions to her brood as she skillfully guides them back to the assnest (not pictured)."



That is the funniest thing i have seen in ages.

Kudos to the man chair pic as well

__________________
Just Another Victim Of The Ambient Morality
You may have the Ninja , but I have the NINJA WITH 2 BIG FUCK-OFF SWORDS

May 23, 2003: 05:23
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fairietard
Joined: Feb 21, 2003


May 23, 2003: 05:26
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dloob
Joined: Nov 21, 2002


quote:
fairietard came out of the closet to say:
twinkie.gif

sweet mother that is the most clever and hilarious goddamn thing ever

edit - holy shit your avatar just makes me laugh even harder

May 23, 2003: 05:32
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tinabeatr
Joined: Apr 19, 2002


oh god please make the laughter stop.

May 23, 2003: 05:36
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carcinofuck
Joined: Apr 18, 2001

good morning heartache, you're like an old friend

quote:
Liquidex came out of the closet to say:
Somehow, someone always manages to do the PERFECT thing at the PERFECT time in these sorta threads
Exactly.

__________________
[ NOMEANSNO that Patton faggot ]
Cedar Point Goonmeet(?)

May 23, 2003: 05:37
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Gromit
Joined: Aug 15, 2000


We've been hit!

quote:
rivetz came out of the closet to say:

mournful farting


HAHAHA, I wish I could do that.

May 23, 2003: 05:51
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OpaqueEcho
Joined: Feb 08, 2003


This is the funniest thread I have seen in a long time. Thanks for both the laughter and the tears.

May 23, 2003: 06:16
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LonelyKing
Joined: Feb 01, 2003


quote:
Scott808 came out of the closet to say:
I am laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes. And whenever I stop laughing I run into it again because someone quoted it and I start laughing again.

5!



Edit: I have seriously never laughed so hard in my life. Death ensues.

LonelyKing fucked around with this message at May 23, 2003 around 06:21

May 23, 2003: 06:17
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Vanst
Joined: Dec 21, 2001

Freak.

quote:
Colton came out of the closet to say:
(I'd do one about cockcougars, but I'm photoshop impaired)
You do not want to know what you made me think of. Really, you don't.

May 23, 2003: 06:26
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Malfeasance!@
Joined: Feb 27, 2003




Don't ask, because I don't know.

Malfeasance!@ fucked around with this message at May 26, 2003 around 00:21

May 23, 2003: 06:45
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RealTimePicnic
Joined: Jun 20, 2002


May 23, 2003: 06:51
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Tepid
Joined: Jan 15, 2002


quote:
Malfeasance!@ came out of the closet to say:
[img]http://www.buildersemporium.com/mad/images/xwingthing.gif

Don't ask, because I don't know.


Fan-fucking-tastic!

May 23, 2003: 06:53
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Katto
Joined: Aug 06, 2001


There has literally never been so much hilarious stuff crammed into ONLY TWO PAGES in any gold-rated thread here ever. AHHASHjsdhfalksjdhjkfhasdkf h fFUNNY

__________________

May 23, 2003: 06:54
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TylerK
Joined: Jan 15, 2001

FOR SERIOUS.

This thread keeps getting better and better! I think I'll let it marinate in my peripheral vision for awhile so that I can come back to it and ingest the hilarity in a higher dosage.

May 23, 2003: 06:55
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wildmamboqueen
Joined: May 30, 2001


5! these are the funniest photoshops in weeks! I think I'm getting a brain aneurysm

May 23, 2003: 06:55
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Spaz
Joined: Nov 15, 2002


quote:
RealTimePicnic came out of the closet to say:



A customer just left without paying because i couldnt stop laughing
^&#!@^&#@

May 23, 2003: 07:18
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kai
Joined: Mar 26, 2001

omgwtflolroflbrb!?



My My My Miss Lopez, Thatsa one spicey behind!

May 23, 2003: 07:36
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FabioTTT
Joined: Nov 30, 2002


quote:
RealTimePicnic came out of the closet to say:



you win!! LOL

May 23, 2003: 07:45
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Reo
Joined: Apr 11, 2003


quote:
Treytor came out of the closet to say:
dude... "It's just a box"

what's that from and you win



?!

?

Metal Gear Solid.

Also, refer me to the original of that J-Lo picture, please.

May 23, 2003: 07:48
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Tepid
Joined: Jan 15, 2002




Original: http://www.suul.info/Images/speil.jpg

May 23, 2003: 08:00
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Blackrogue
Joined: Nov 18, 2002


FUNNIEST THREAD EVER.

May 23, 2003: 08:10
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noslliJ
Joined: May 21, 2003

wittiness not included

quote:
caldrax came out of the closet to say:



hahahah 5!

May 23, 2003: 08:21
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Sexpool
Joined: Nov 19, 2002


Sweet mother of God.

I sense a photoshop phriday coming out of this, as the submissions keep pouring in.

May 23, 2003: 08:32
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Tepid
Joined: Jan 15, 2002


Tofurkey

May 23, 2003: 08:35
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Rocket-Nuts
Joined: Aug 31, 2001


Yeah yeah, cliched, but fuck it, I miss our old buddy.

May 23, 2003: 08:46
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Bubble Monkey
Joined: Feb 09, 2003


quote:
Rocket-Nuts came out of the closet to say:
Yeah yeah, cliched, but fuck it, I miss our old buddy.

img-http://homepage.ntlworld.com/p633/sanass.jpg


RECTUM? Damn near lost the chair!

This must make the front page. One 5 is not enough.

May 23, 2003: 08:49
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USAR NAEM
Joined: Jun 07, 2001

BANDWIDTH
LEECH.

Hahahaha, hilarious!

I rate this thread a 7!

No... wait.

May 23, 2003: 08:50
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Tepid
Joined: Jan 15, 2002


quote:
Rocket-Nuts came out of the closet to say:
cliched

Bad ass none the less.

May 23, 2003: 09:05
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Kostoglotov
Joined: Apr 15, 2003


Imperial loyalist since 1980.

This thread is amazing. Never did I imagine, sitting down at my computer this morning to scan the forums, that I would be laughing quite so hard at quite so many images. I love you all, in a purely platonic, non-gay lovin' kind of way.

May 23, 2003: 09:32
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Hoffma
Joined: Mar 29, 2003


Assboat can't put out candles without his oars, but he KNOWS how to FARTY HARD



props to HELLO.JPG for the inspiration

May 23, 2003: 10:16
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Pyroman[FO]
Joined: Feb 01, 2003


quote:
FOOD!!! came out of the closet to say:
It's no manboat, but it's the best I could do...




This is not getting enough love.

May 23, 2003: 10:31
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Derkin
Joined: Dec 02, 2001


This is the funniest thing i have ever seen.

May 23, 2003: 10:33
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Jack Datsun
Joined: Oct 15, 2002


Holy fucking shit, I just woke up my entire house with laughter. 5!

May 23, 2003: 10:55
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the_after_after_shave
Joined: Apr 04, 2002


hahahahahahhahahhahahhaah I love assboat.jpg

May 23, 2003: 10:58
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tasslex
Joined: Apr 22, 2003

Pimp Inside

quote:
RealTimePicnic came out of the closet to say:


This makes me want to register another account just to vote 5 again.

May 23, 2003: 11:00
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MatchstiK
Joined: Nov 25, 2002


Ahahahahahah That manchair was by far the best thing I've seen.
All of these are awesome!

May 23, 2003: 11:27
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fairietard
Joined: Feb 21, 2003


May 23, 2003: 11:35
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Rocket-Nuts
Joined: Aug 31, 2001


quote:
fairietard came out of the closet to say:



Oh now you've done it. NOW YOU'VE DONE IT.

Damn it, I need another 5.

May 23, 2003: 11:37
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Laopooh
Joined: Jul 15, 2000


you bastards i'm weak and crying from laughter and i have to go to class

__________________
-><-

May 23, 2003: 11:39
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Strepsil
Joined: Feb 20, 2002

I can make math jokes funny.

May 23, 2003: 11:50
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publicblast
Joined: Dec 19, 2002


This year: grad school. Next year: unemployed in style.

quote:
caldrax came out of the closet to say:
manboat.jpg

Good to see the old man-chair back in action. Brilliant posts, all! 5 5 5 5, all around.

May 23, 2003: 11:51
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CornBeef
Joined: Sep 23, 2000



possibly the most bestest thread in the whole wide world, mom

CornBeef fucked around with this message at May 23, 2003 around 12:01

May 23, 2003: 11:52
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SpecialK
Joined: Oct 17, 2002


CRESCENT FRESH

quote:
Iridium came out of the closet to say:


That would be one of these:


poo-snail?

May 23, 2003: 11:52
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LunixArchduke
Joined: Apr 30, 2002

Quantum Mechanical Badass

quote:
Strepsil came out of the closet to say:



ahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahaha

just when I think this thread has peaked, it keeps going up.

May 23, 2003: 11:55
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Cecil
Joined: Jul 06, 2000


CURSES! Foiled again!

More often then not, large shipments of ass lost of sea wash up on beaches, only to be covered in a thin layer of sand. The natives of various polynesian islands can make a small fortune by retrieving these lost asses, using a handheld buttdetector. Shown here, a father teaches his son the revered art of ass detection.

Cecil decided to show you this image:

May 23, 2003: 11:57
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Avidin
Joined: May 28, 2002


MMMMPPPHHH!!!
(Oh and I also lost or something)

I love how through 3 glorious pages we are still no closer to working out what the fuck it is, and in fact, no one even cares anymore.

May 23, 2003: 11:58
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darthphunk
Joined: Jul 03, 2002


quote:
Rocket-Nuts came out of the closet to say:
Yeah yeah, cliched, but fuck it, I miss our old buddy.





HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

May 23, 2003: 11:59
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Treytor
Joined: Feb 07, 2003

WOW I WAS ALMOST BANNED

quote:
Reo came out of the closet to say:
Metal Gear Solid.


WINNAR!

May 23, 2003: 12:00
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Belldandy
Joined: Sep 11, 2001


Oh my god.

May 23, 2003: 12:06
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mojofilter
Joined: Jul 15, 2001


So what relation is there between the movie Legend and assboat?

One can only imagine

May 23, 2003: 12:15
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Cecil
Joined: Jul 06, 2000


CURSES! Foiled again!

One of the most recognizable and enduring symbols of American freedom is the liberty bell. Shown here is the ass-crack in the bell, which serves as an easy identifier of this venerable icon.





Edit: I'm a little happier with this version.

Cecil fucked around with this message at May 23, 2003 around 12:31

May 23, 2003: 12:19
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Killer_Beer_Coaster
Joined: Mar 31, 2003

Brought to you by the letter Y.

quote:
RealTimePicnic came out of the closet to say:
[img-http://protoscape.com/somethingawful/starship_assboat.jpg]

This is where my 5 is going! Laughing so hard I think some piss is dripping out.

May 23, 2003: 12:27
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ndmonkey
Joined: Jan 09, 2003


KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!

quote:
RealTimePicnic came out of the closet to say:



Oh god..I cant stop laughing! 5!!!!!11

__________________
It tastes like babies!

May 23, 2003: 12:31
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Itchy_Grundle
Joined: Feb 21, 2003


quote:
kai came out of the closet to say:


My My My Miss Lopez, Thatsa one spicey behind!



This needs much more love. If I could give more 5's I would.

May 23, 2003: 12:32
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Mother Goose
Joined: Apr 29, 2003

Maverick was such a little pussy. I was the real brains of the operation... 'til that little fuckstick sent me swimming with the fishes...

quote:
rivetz came out of the closet to say:


"The fading daylight signals the coming of dusk to the silent forest. A blissful silence settles across the scene, marred only by the mournful farting of the female assboat, honking gentle instructions to her brood as she skillfully guides them back to the assnest (not pictured)."



HAHA! 5 big gold ones for the J. Peterman catalogue!

May 23, 2003: 12:37
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Bill_Brasky
Joined: Nov 14, 2002

Omnipotent SNL Character

FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT. FIVE ALIVE HOLY SHIT.

wow...this made me spit out a burger in fear of shocking on a bite of it. I love you, assboat.

__________________

quote:
vorhese came out of the closet to say:
Wow that's strange that you like the condom. I can't even use a condom. I get nothing. Preferring condom over skin on skin is like preferring Diet Mt Dew to regular Mt Dew. It just aint right.

May 23, 2003: 12:41
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LurchDawg
Joined: Jan 01, 2003


Forum Dra-Goon

quote:
fairietard came out of the closet to say:
[img-http://www.buildersemporium.com/josh/sumoass.jpg-img]


oh dear god the funny has been condensed to super overweight form!

May 23, 2003: 12:42
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ebnf
Joined: Jan 29, 2003


Check this out:

NWS!! NWS!! http://www.lowta.cx/upload/furniture-sex.gif

That is what all this stuff is for.

May 23, 2003: 12:47
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AznGamer
Joined: Nov 30, 2001


:5bux: and my custom title comes back.

This is one of the first thing that came to my head.

May 23, 2003: 12:50
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donny_paycheck
Joined: Sep 11, 2001


This is my fire escape, not yours!

quote:
Treytor came out of the closet to say:
dude... "It's just a box"

what's that from and you win

Am I rite?

e:f,b

donny_paycheck decided to show you this image:

donny_paycheck fucked around with this message at May 23, 2003 around 12:55

May 23, 2003: 12:53
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malt
Joined: Jun 07, 2001

Like an onion, when you peel away my many layers, I STILL FUCKING STINK!!!

quote:
Hoffma came out of the closet to say:
Assboat can't put out candles without his oars, but he KNOWS how to FARTY HARD



props to HELLO.JPG for the inspiration



Just !

I love you all. 5!

May 23, 2003: 12:54
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RememberCitadel
Joined: Aug 31, 2001



HOLY CRAP this thread rules.

May 23, 2003: 12:59
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nicrosin
Joined: Jul 10, 2001


kokoro wo yusaburu ai no monogatari

.

nicrosin decided to show you this image:

May 23, 2003: 13:03
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Allen's Wrench
Joined: Apr 02, 2003


It's all you get.

Out of the frying pan into the fire, so to speak:

May 23, 2003: 13:10
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open24hours
Joined: Jan 07, 2001


Woohoo!

__________________
,.;:'"00'":;.,
_______

May 23, 2003: 13:12
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Pilsner
Joined: Nov 22, 2002


Flat Beat

quote:
Allen's Wrench came out of the closet to say:
Out of the frying pan into the fire, so to speak:


May 23, 2003: 13:15
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aunt jemima
Joined: Jan 11, 2001


quote:
Scott808 came out of the closet to say:


I am laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes. And whenever I stop laughing I run into it again because someone quoted it and I start laughing again.



Precisely
my coworkers think I'm insane

May 23, 2003: 13:23
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Cold Hand
Joined: Oct 21, 2002


I wake up and this thread is what I get, I read the whole thing, but did any of us ever figure out what the hell the ass thing is good for, other than seemingly it was made specifically so that we could photoshop it?

May 23, 2003: 13:27
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Agent019
Joined: Jun 27, 2002

DON'T IMAGE LEECH

quote:
caldrax came out of the closet to say:



Thanks a lot asshoole... now I am crying... funniest shit yet!

quote:
fairietard came out of the closet to say:



You too... Funniest thread ever 555555

Agent019 fucked around with this message at May 23, 2003 around 13:34

May 23, 2003: 13:27
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Agent019
Joined: Jun 27, 2002

DON'T IMAGE LEECH

May 23, 2003: 13:33
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Undead_Kitten
Joined: May 29, 2001




quote:
Cold Hand came out of the closet to say:
...did any of us ever figure out what the hell the ass thing is good for, other than seemingly it was made specifically so that we could photoshop it?


It is art, and called Legend. So don't question it.

May 23, 2003: 13:33
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ManoliIsFat
Joined: Oct 04, 2002

BEHOLD THE IMAGE LEECH!

quote:
It's just a box

...of rain?

Grateful Dead?

May 23, 2003: 13:39
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Allen's Wrench
Joined: Apr 02, 2003


It's all you get.

I'm sending this to the site owner:

quote:
Dear Sir,

I'm not sure how to say this, but we could sure use your help. We are hard at work Photoshopping the hell out of your beautiful AssBoat, but the small picture on your site hardly does this contemporary masterpiece of buttock manipulation the justice we feel it deserves.

I would be deeply indebted if you would be so kind as to send me a larger image file, 1024 x 768 if possible. Closeups of individual asscheeks would be immensely helpful, as would, well, BOTH rear views, back and back, so to speak! White background would be immensely helpful as well.

Your vision of the AssBoat as an alternate method of transportation across both sea and land has us altogether humbled. We are hard at work pioneering several augmentations, including a constantly cycling spool of synthetic toilet paper that will constantly massage the buttcrack, allowing for more expedient frictionless transport. We will keep you notified of additional innovations. Thank you.

May 23, 2003: 13:43
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Reo
Joined: Apr 11, 2003


Come on, you mean to tell me no one actually remembers the movie Legend?

May 23, 2003: 13:47
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Bucket
Joined: Nov 19, 2002


i HATED the movie legend, atleast it takes place in hell, but man that light sure moves slow through hell...

May 23, 2003: 13:56
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MadMorbius
Joined: May 06, 2003

There is no hope for humanity

http://www.dailystupidshit.com/images/saps/asslander2.jpg

May 23, 2003: 13:57
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Cecil
Joined: Jul 06, 2000


CURSES! Foiled again!

quote:
Allen's Wrench came out of the closet to say:
I'm sending this to the site owner:

[/i]




Wonderful idea. I can make a libertyasscrack bell that isn't a textbook example of .jpg compression artifacts.

May 23, 2003: 13:58
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Dante
Joined: Feb 08, 2003


quote:
Iridium came out of the closet to say:
This is some damned unusual but interesting art here.

I dub this one "Oddjob Mates with Pele"


I love you

May 23, 2003: 14:00
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Dante
Joined: Feb 08, 2003


quote:
Born in Trondheim in 1967, yvind Suul has worked in Oslo since his MFA in Ceramics at the National College of Art and Design. He has divided his time between the work as an educator at the National College of Art and Design and his studio which currently is situated at Carl Berners plass in Oslo.


I LIVE IN TRONDHEIM

May 23, 2003: 14:05
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ValnirChaosbuns
Joined: Apr 02, 2003

I like it when you talk down to me

Five. So incredibly five. Which is still less than the number of people in the computer room giving me very odd looks since I just burst out laughing and can't stop. Fantastic thread.

May 23, 2003: 14:20
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Tepid
Joined: Jan 15, 2002


quote:
Dante came out of the closet to say:
I LIVE IN TRONDHEIM

WHERE IS YOUR WACKY ART, SIR.

May 23, 2003: 14:22
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toby
Joined: Dec 04, 2002


attention defecit poster child

holy shit, that IS funny.

May 23, 2003: 14:28
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o-bake
Joined: Aug 31, 2001


Holy frijoles this is a great thread.

May 23, 2003: 14:29
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Hoffma
Joined: Mar 29, 2003


quote:
Reo came out of the closet to say:
Come on, you mean to tell me no one actually remembers the movie Legend?


Nice subtlety! Rig up an oar on the uni-horn, maybe?

May 23, 2003: 15:45
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kai
Joined: Mar 26, 2001

omgwtflolroflbrb!?

quote:
ebnf came out of the closet to say:
Check this out:

NWS!! NWS!! http://www.lowta.cx/upload/furniture-sex.gif

That is what all this stuff is for.



Motherfucker! Comedy fucking uranium right there buddy, AHAHHAHA!!

May 23, 2003: 15:55
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kai
Joined: Mar 26, 2001

omgwtflolroflbrb!?



You just know that you've had a great day at the lake when the ass-cream boat comes around and your parents treat you to some delicious ass-cream.

May 23, 2003: 16:38
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Cecil
Joined: Jul 06, 2000


CURSES! Foiled again!

quote:
kai came out of the closet to say:
http://www.heusbitter.nl/kai/sa/assboat.jpg

You just know that you've had a great day at the lake when the ass-cream boat comes around and your parents treat you to some delicious ass-cream.





Hahahahahahahaha. I scream, you scream....

May 23, 2003: 16:42
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feem
Joined: Jul 01, 2002

wtf i don't know yet

I'm in love with each and every one of you.

May 23, 2003: 17:07
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LordNad
Joined: Nov 18, 2002

Damien and Ralph sleep butt to face.

too much.....

May 23, 2003: 17:20
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RealTimePicnic
Joined: Jun 20, 2002


Here we go again...



[EDIT] Part 2:

RealTimePicnic fucked around with this message at May 23, 2003 around 19:24

May 23, 2003: 17:24
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Hydrogen
Joined: May 12, 2001


This is the funniest thread ever, and it can only go up from here.

May 23, 2003: 18:09
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Malfeasance!@
Joined: Feb 27, 2003


quote:
fairietard came out of the closet to say:



Ah, damn you. I went to sleep last night with that idea, thinking "oh, I'll just do it when I wake up."

May 23, 2003: 18:13
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HoraceTheClam
Joined: Apr 08, 2002


quote:
Malfeasance!@ came out of the closet to say:




LARF! 5!

May 23, 2003: 18:19
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ColinMoore
Joined: Aug 13, 2002


strength +10
charm +12
wonder +9

quote:
RealTimePicnic came out of the closet to say:
Here we go again...




I'm glad no one else is home. I'm laughing too hard at this.

May 23, 2003: 18:20
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OpaqueEcho
Joined: Feb 08, 2003


quote:
RealTimePicnic came out of the closet to say:
Here we go again...




You, sir, are teh winnar.

May 23, 2003: 18:22
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Luigi's Discount Porn Bin
Joined: Jul 19, 2000


quote:
nicrosin came out of the closet to say:
img-chaplin


BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH




GASP


.....HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA*

*HA

May 23, 2003: 18:23
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jnz
Joined: Apr 19, 2002


Diver's Log, May 23:
I've heard the stories about it--that sunken hulk which both fascinates and terrifies explorers. But I didn't comprehend the reality of it until today. As I approached, it appeared through the murk like a queen making her entrance. Its once mighty curves were now encrusted with countless generations of sea life. I gazed in wonder and thought about her captain--he was a stoic and brave sailor, I have no doubt. What was his name? I don't know. To me he will always simply be: Captain of The Assboat.

jnz fucked around with this message at May 24, 2003 around 02:48

May 23, 2003: 18:28
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El Jackalope
Joined: Sep 11, 2001


Although mythological, I'm still real enough to annoy you.

Let it be known that May of 2003 has been one of the best months in the SA forums for teh funny. Evar.

5

May 23, 2003: 18:29
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Syrinxx
Joined: Mar 27, 2002


quote:
Allen's Wrench came out of the closet to say:
Out of the frying pan into the fire, so to speak:




Holy fuck. You owe me a new something.

5 to the max.

May 23, 2003: 18:34
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Lay-Z
Joined: Mar 04, 2003


Going down to Tickfaw, gonna have myself a time...

First thing that came to mind.

May 23, 2003: 18:34
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talkingapple
Joined: Apr 23, 2003


whao dude wuz dat my mom hurry spray teh lysol

quote:
jnz came out of the closet to say:
Diver's Log, May 23:
I've heard the stories about it--that sunken hulk which both fascinates and terrifies explorers. But I didn't comprehend the reality of it until today. As I approached, it appeared through the murk like a queen making her entrance. Its once mighty curves were now encrusted with countless generations of sea life. I gazed in wonder and thought about her captain--he was a stoic and brave sailor, I have no doubt. What was his name? I don't know. To me he will always simply be: Captain of The Assboat.

[img - asswreck.jpg]




hahahahaa

May 23, 2003: 18:36
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strife1037
Joined: May 21, 2001


5555

hahahah

May 23, 2003: 18:38
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slashandburn
Joined: Dec 06, 2002


I'll be seeing that thing next time I have a round of drug horrors.

May 23, 2003: 18:38
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YardKGnome
Joined: Jan 18, 2003


May 23, 2003: 18:50
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RealTimePicnic
Joined: Jun 20, 2002


quote:
jnz came out of the closet to say:



This is incredible.

May 23, 2003: 18:51
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Octal
Joined: Jan 29, 2003


It's times like this that I wish the forums had more numbers to vote with

May 23, 2003: 19:02
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Sexpool
Joined: Nov 19, 2002


Finally, another thread on par with Albrot's animated gif recreations.

May 23, 2003: 19:07
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OMGWTFBBQ
Joined: Nov 17, 2000


forums witchdoctor

Changed my mind. Stuck for comedy Goldmine.

May 23, 2003: 19:09
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MechaMrEd
Joined: Aug 15, 2001


quote:
YardKGnome came out of the closet to say:
http://www.readytopwn.com/sparky/asstub.jpg


Now I'm convinced.

NOBODY COULD POSSIBLY DISLIKE THIS THREAD

May 23, 2003: 19:13
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Cypher
Joined: Jun 01, 2000

Forum Veteran

quote:
Lay-Z came out of the closet to say:
First thing that came to mind.

[img Das Butt]




Fucking funny.

May 23, 2003: 19:20
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Bieeardo
Joined: Aug 21, 2000

Forum Veteran

quote:
Lay-Z came out of the closet to say:
First thing that came to mind.

[img-dasbutt.jpg]



You marvelous son of a bitch.

May 23, 2003: 19:22
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Wraith
Joined: May 22, 2001

There had to be a second wizard. And by definition, there had to be a conspiracy.

quote:
Lay-Z came out of the closet to say:



Holy Homosexual He-Men.
That's the funniest thing I've ever seen.

May 23, 2003: 19:25
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Lay-Z
Joined: Mar 04, 2003


Going down to Tickfaw, gonna have myself a time...

Well, I had to do something to redeem myself for making it into last Phriday's hall of shame.

May 23, 2003: 19:25
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Glovebox Joe
Joined: Dec 21, 2002


quote:
Lay-Z came out of the closet to say:
[img- Das Butt]
I am eternally grateful.

May 23, 2003: 19:29
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Knormal
Joined: Nov 11, 2001


I blended this thing so much it barely looks like I did anything, but really, I did more than just stick the crack in there.

May 23, 2003: 19:30
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Bonk
Joined: Aug 03, 2002


This thread is exactly why we need more thread ratings, because it's quite possibly the funniest thing ever. Like if a thread maintains above a 4.9 average after 100 votes or so, we need Platinum. Maybe after 200, Plutonium.

I've always liked this image macro:

Bonk decided to show you this image:

May 23, 2003: 19:30
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S. Cody
Joined: Apr 13, 2003


KILL WHITEY

Just wow. lersnakes!

May 23, 2003: 19:32
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mindofme
Joined: May 19, 2003

Math is to physics as masturbation is to sex

Holy shit. I join, and I see the hilarity. Dish out the 5's when appropriate. Now THIS thread comes along and makes me feel guilty for all those other 5s.

Kudos to all the photoshoppers\finders in the thread.

But I do have a question..what do you do when there's a leak in the assboat?

May 23, 2003: 19:37
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starvey
Joined: Jul 19, 2001


Spewing Cubism

quote:
caldrax came out of the closet to say:
[img]stunning manchair on ass boat[img]


That is so perfect.
I mean it.

May 23, 2003: 19:40
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Wolfman
Joined: May 09, 2003


quote:
jnz came out of the closet to say:
Diver's Log, May 23:
I've heard the stories about it--that sunken hulk which both fascinates and terrifies explorers. But I didn't comprehend the reality of it until today. As I approached, it appeared through the murk like a queen making her entrance. Its once mighty curves were now encrusted with countless generations of sea life. I gazed in wonder and thought about her captain--he was a stoic and brave sailor, I have no doubt. What was his name? I don't know. To me he will always simply be: Captain of The Assboat.





THAT sir is beautiful 5

May 23, 2003: 19:41
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grahamX0r
Joined: Dec 23, 2002


is probably bitching.

quote:
mindofme came out of the closet to say:

But I do have a question..what do you do when there's a leak in the assboat?



You lurk.

May 23, 2003: 19:42
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Dan
Joined: Nov 25, 2002


Victim of reality

Voted comedy Kryptonite, might have to reinstall photoshop.

May 23, 2003: 19:44
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thisisntmenam
Joined: Dec 11, 2000

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S STICKIER - THE THREADS I HATE SO MUCH OR MY ANUS AFTER A NIGHT OF HOT GOAT-ON-MY-ASS LOVING

quote:
grahamX0r came out of the closet to say:


You lurk.

that was really witty.

May 23, 2003: 19:46
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Pirate Tom
Joined: Apr 08, 2003


down where it's wetter!

May 23, 2003: 19:53
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Ape Drape
Joined: Apr 24, 2003

Hey! What happened to my libido?

quote:
Inspector Chan came out of the closet to say:


Voted 5 for you.



I'm voting 5 for you cuz you used yours for Dannymanic.

5

May 23, 2003: 19:54
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Ape Drape
Joined: Apr 24, 2003

Hey! What happened to my libido?

quote:
Pirate Tom came out of the closet to say:
asstrain.jpg



OH MY GOD! This is my new desktop pic.

(edit)Sorry about the double post.. I was so excited about asstrain.

May 23, 2003: 19:55
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OpaqueEcho
Joined: Feb 08, 2003


quote:
Pirate Tom came out of the closet to say:
[img]ass-train


*sigh* I wish I could vote 5 again.

May 23, 2003: 19:55
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Kalden99
Joined: Dec 26, 2002

Blarg

420 Votes. 4.99 Average. Who dare not vote a 5 for the assboat?!?!

Oh, and 5 for me alsomt chokeing to death on a McNugget. Too damn funny.

__________________
MAN A TURRET!

May 23, 2003: 19:57
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CrazyLittle
Joined: May 01, 2003

MAK WID TEH FUNNIE!

quote:
mindofme came out of the closet to say:
But I do have a question..what do you do when there's a leak in the assboat?


Abandon shit.

NWS - Leaky Assboat - NWS

May 23, 2003: 19:57
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Ravyn
Joined: May 08, 2002



quote:
Pirate Tom came out of the closet to say:
[img-asstrain.jpg]
5 's for you!

May 23, 2003: 19:57
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toenut
Joined: Apr 11, 2003

Charles Moore's buddy

Holy shit. 5's for everyone.

May 23, 2003: 19:59
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Tenacious J
Joined: Nov 19, 2002

Deep beneath the subatomic threshold lurks a mysterious force from whence man and beast sprang forth, as one. Evolved from the blood of the ancients, in the tradition of Ang & Chang with a little Wang Chung sauce... Tenacious J.

I think I wet my pants.

Dear God, I blew a funny fuse

May 23, 2003: 20:01
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Twon
Joined: Jan 30, 2002


Knight of Mars Beater of Ass

I just can't stop laughing. My housemates think I've finally lost it.

May 23, 2003: 20:11
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Doodles
Joined: Apr 14, 2001


Okay, what motherfucker voted this anything but a 5? I haven't laughed this hard in ages. I almost had a heart attack...

May 23, 2003: 20:16
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Shatneresque
Joined: Apr 15, 2001

There's someTHING...on the...WING!

quote:
CrazyLittle came out of the closet to say:
Abandon shit.

NWS - Leaky Assboat - NWS

I think you can go ahead and post that; you're not showing any naughty bits. People have done stuff like that before (see the old "deface national monuments" thread).

May 23, 2003: 20:16
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Psybro
Joined: May 12, 2002


quote:
jnz came out of the closet to say:
Diver's Log, May 23:
I've heard the stories about it--that sunken hulk which both fascinates and terrifies explorers. But I didn't comprehend the reality of it until today. As I approached, it appeared through the murk like a queen making her entrance. Its once mighty curves were now encrusted with countless generations of sea life. I gazed in wonder and thought about her captain--he was a stoic and brave sailor, I have no doubt. What was his name? I don't know. To me he will always simply be: Captain of The Assboat.

[img-asswreck]


That is one of the most amazing pieces of comic image manipulation I have ever seen.

May 23, 2003: 20:20
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SuckMySocks
Joined: Mar 22, 2003

Pastry-burner

quote:
Pirate Tom came out of the closet to say:


5 my friend. 5.

May 23, 2003: 20:24
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Exorcism Tongs
Joined: Sep 11, 2001



Hey, where's the cream filling?

Exorcism Tongs decided to show you this image:

May 23, 2003: 20:29
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Rate
thread: 
This thread sucks ass. This is not a good thread. This is a mediocre thread. This is a somewhat entertaining thread. Excellent thread!
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