week, I did an update critiquing poor children who attempted
to draw pictures on the subject of divorce. Obviously children
are incapable of possessing talent, so their pictures ended up
looking awful. What you don't know is that I had originally
thought about doing a critique of something even less funny.
By "less funny" I mean less tasteful. Yes, making fun of the
poor children of divorce wasn't low enough for me. Of course
my idea would never be acceptable on the front page, so I am
now bringing it here, where standards are left at the door!
My target was going to be the FEMA for Kids site. For
those of you who aren't American (and you know who you are!),
FEMA is America's Federal Emergency Management Agency. That
basically means they are the agency in charge of our nation's
vast array of tornado warning sirens. Their website happens to
feature a gallery of
drawings by dastardly children responding to the even more
dastardly September 11th terrorist attacks.
frankly, these drawings were both poorly made and downright
scary. I've taken the time to give you my take on a few of the
drawings. Yes, I know this is cruel and unsavory, but I'm a
cruel and unsavory character. I'm like Lex Luther, only I'm
poor and I drive a Ford Tempo.
FEMA for Kids – WTC
This picture presents a chilling alternate
theory to the September 11th attacks. You will clearly notice
that the first tower seems to be exploding prior to the actual
impact with the plane! This means that there could easily have
been a bomb placed in either one or both of the towers. Let's
take a closer look at this scene just to make sure:
Obviously, the explosion occurred prior to the
impact. Did the terrorist hijackers aboard the plane know
about the explosives planted in the building? Or is this one
The artist also chose to include a fairy phoenix
rising above the towers, perhaps affirming his belief that a
higher power somehow ordained this. Clearly, the creator of
this horrible image is truly disturbed in his political
beliefs and ideals.
At the base of the towers stand six individuals
serving as witnesses to the absolute carnage. Who are these
chilling observers and why do they seem so calm? They watch on
in relative peace, almost as if they welcome the tragedy.
Again, another subtle addation that affirms the artist's sick
This picture borders on being a surrealist
interpretation of the tragedy. The overall pandemonium
depicted seems almost apocalyptic in nature. This scene could
easily have been lifted straight from the Bible.
Here we see two giants climbing the mighty
towers. What's interesting is that they need not even grasp
the building, but instead seem to cling to the sides with
little surface contact. They seem unconcerned, as they wave to
the crowd. Another possibility is that they are giving the
infamous Nazi salute, but that's just speculation. It should
be noted that both of these individuals are scaling the
building prior to the actual impact with the planes. In fact,
much of this chaos is occurring as the first plane strikes.
The plane, which seems to be symbolized by the
male member, or perhaps a link of sausage, has the word "Hi"
written on the front of the plane. You can see what looks to
be "jac" written on the very end of the plane. This seems to
indicate that the plane is "hijaced" by terrorists. But when
would the terrorist have had time to add these markings to the
plane? Wouldn't it have been more practical to leave them off,
as to blend in with regular air traffic? Clearly, the
terrorist weren't quite as clever as we give them credit for.
In the rear window of the plane, you can see a human being
with "X's" for eyes. This either suggests that the person is
dead, or that there is a bit of numerology involved. X is
equivalent to ten in Roman numerals, placing the value of 20
on this person's face. What could this mean? It means I need
to change my pants, because that's some scary shit.
The final and most chilling component of this
image is this scene in which two children dance around a
prophet-like character standing in the streets. As you can
clearly see, the purple-clad prophet has three eyes! Obviously
this prophet is seeing opportunity through her third eye. The
children celebrate this evil false prophet with glee, as the
world falls apart around them! Indeed, a harrowing look at end
Let this show all of you, children are some
messed up people!
I am the owner of a Huge Midget and a Mr.
SmartyMan. Kids are hard to keep track of!