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The Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > [with bonus rant!] What other drivers see when they look at traffic signs. Thread Rating: 257 votes, 4.91 average. (4): 1 2 3 4  
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TracerBullet
Joined: Apr 25, 2003


fortunatly, my last thought turned out the lights when it left.

Just got back on the board and I woke my ill roommate with my laughter at the new entries.

Thanks a lot, assholes.

May 01, 2003: 22:40
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Amun
Joined: Oct 16, 2002

Professional Slacker

quote:
Scalper came out of the closet to say:


Edit: Off topic - sorry got carried away.



Nice. In other news, according to my peripheral vision, your avatar is a penis.

May 01, 2003: 22:47
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dalamar
Joined: Sep 27, 2001


quote:
Your Boogie Man came out of the closet to say:



Yes Yes Yes

May 01, 2003: 22:57
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Hydrac7
Joined: Jun 07, 2001

Hello, I like pie.

quote:
Your Boogie Man came out of the closet to say:



Hahaha! More love to this.

May 01, 2003: 23:01
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r.y.f.s.o.
Joined: Feb 28, 2003


We are HUGE rock stars.



I know this to be true because I do it. Every time.

May 01, 2003: 23:05
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vegit0r
Joined: Apr 24, 2003


vegit0r fucked around with this message at May 01, 2003 around 23:54

May 01, 2003: 23:13
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Huge_Midget
Joined: Jun 06, 2002


Head of FYaD Research & Development

quote:
You are a nerd came out of the closet to say:
lol physics nerd lol




But as you approach C, you gain infinite mass...

DAMN YOU EINSTEIN!

May 01, 2003: 23:24
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[ALA]Jet
Joined: Sep 26, 2000

what what what what what what what what what what

quote:
vegit0r came out of the closet to say:


Hehe, I know, they could have like 10 full time patrol cars on the highway for the price of 1 helicopter.

May 01, 2003: 23:29
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WallOfInsanity
Joined: Feb 22, 2003


quote:
Huge_Midget came out of the closet to say:


But as you approach C, you gain infinite mass...

DAMN YOU EINSTEIN!



But you must admit... the sign is correct. You cant' go over C.

5 for all of you.

May 01, 2003: 23:30
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BonzoESC
Joined: Jul 19, 2001


quote:
vegit0r came out of the closet to say:

You might want to obtain better hosting for your picture.

May 01, 2003: 23:50
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vegit0r
Joined: Apr 24, 2003


quote:
BonzoESC came out of the closet to say:
You might want to obtain better hosting for your picture.


fix't

May 01, 2003: 23:54
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Ape Drape
Joined: Apr 24, 2003

Hey! What happened to my libido?

quote:
emil_muzz came out of the closet to say:
Hate cellphones... Hate them sooooo much.



Buy an SUV get your lobotomy and cell phone for free!! Check out HOW!!

May 02, 2003: 00:00
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Toom
Joined: Apr 27, 2002


quote:
r.y.f.s.o. came out of the closet to say:

I know this to be true because I do it. Every time.



It's a way of checking of my spedometer is accurate...

May 02, 2003: 00:02
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JimmyJARS
Joined: Jan 10, 2003


quote:
ToiletDuk came out of the closet to say:
Yay, more SUV humor.

[img]http://www.fishdot.org/sa/images/toiletduk_suvparking.jpg[img]




Is this in naperville, Illinois by any chance?

May 02, 2003: 00:02
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Ape Drape
Joined: Apr 24, 2003

Hey! What happened to my libido?

quote:
Noomsby came out of the closet to say:



hahahahahahahahahahahaha! OH MY GOD! I WOKE UP THE KIDS FOR THIS ONE!

May 02, 2003: 00:02
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Footboy
Joined: Feb 02, 2003

Beware, I live.

Crap image, and I couldn't find a real "bikes on road" source. Ah well.

May 02, 2003: 00:04
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thisisntmenam
Joined: Dec 11, 2000

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S STICKIER - THE THREADS I HATE SO MUCH OR MY ANUS AFTER A NIGHT OF HOT GOAT-ON-MY-ASS LOVING

This is directed at those who stopped at an intersection with a stoplight.

what the sign says:

what they see:


Edit to comment on truckers: I see very few truckers who speed. Especially the ones on the interstate going long distances, they almost never speed. The worst truckers are those little trucks (same size as fish truck in GTA) that just drive locally. Some of them are big pricks.

thisisntmenam fucked around with this message at May 02, 2003 around 00:12

May 02, 2003: 00:04
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psylent
Joined: Nov 29, 2000


Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast

quote:
Your Boogie Man came out of the closet to say:


Hahahahah that's great.

__________________

May 02, 2003: 00:11
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Your Boogie Man
Joined: Apr 01, 2003





My friend, Kumar, made these. OUTDONE AGAIN.

Your Boogie Man fucked around with this message at May 02, 2003 around 00:15

May 02, 2003: 00:13
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Feather
Joined: Mar 01, 2003

I'm not closed minded; you're just wrong!

Find my shitty contribution attached to this post.

PS: Truck drivers that drive on the I-75 suck ass and I hate them all.

Feather decided to show you this image:

May 02, 2003: 00:15
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Shalrath
Joined: May 25, 2001


ATOMS = PEACE

quote:
Cocktail Kitten came out of the closet to say:
Planaria are not as iconic as they would have you believe.
PS yes, I was once a biology nerd...




Heey.. isnt that some sort of cretacious era reptile about the size of a chiken with a large triangular head?




Even if its not, I still love you.

May 02, 2003: 00:18
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GoatRearEnd
Joined: Oct 24, 2002


quote:
Shade Fell came out of the closet to say:


I get off the train there when walking to visit friends.

It's dangerous to cross, as the one street that runs paralell to the station is actually two streets, each with seperate crazy stop lights. WTF? People around there tend to ignore the lights and just drive however they feel like.

Harlem is always fucked.



heh... my g/f was coming over here (Melrose Park, the Industrial King of the Suburbs) tonight for class at my community college, and not knowing the area too well she made the mistake of going through that area. Took her an hour and 15 from downtown.

May 02, 2003: 00:22
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MongooseJ
Joined: Jul 28, 2000

Forum Veteran

This is really the only one that strikes a chord with me.

MongooseJ decided to show you this image:

May 02, 2003: 00:28
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thisisntmenam
Joined: Dec 11, 2000

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S STICKIER - THE THREADS I HATE SO MUCH OR MY ANUS AFTER A NIGHT OF HOT GOAT-ON-MY-ASS LOVING

quote:
Feather came out of the closet to say:
speed +- 5 mph
That seriously bothers you? My speed varies a lot when I'm on a hilly road unless I want to waste gas like there's no tomorow (I have a light car, so I don't get much momentum for the hills)

May 02, 2003: 00:28
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Pablo Gigante
Joined: Apr 16, 2002


Elementary Penguin

quote:
Shalrath came out of the closet to say:
Heey.. isnt that some sort of cretacious era reptile about the size of a chiken with a large triangular head?




Even if its not, I still love you.


No, you're thinking of the late Carboniferous/early Permian era amphibian Diplocaulus, which looked much like a 3-foot long salamander with a large, arrow-shaped head. Planaria are small flatworms with similar arrow-shaped heads and small light-sensitive simple eyes.

I mean... um... carry on.

May 02, 2003: 00:30
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Decapod73
Joined: Jan 04, 2003


quote:
Cocktail Kitten came out of the closet to say:
[img planaria xing /img]


This made me LOL.

Oh, and to the whole thread: 5.

May 02, 2003: 00:31
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Feather
Joined: Mar 01, 2003

I'm not closed minded; you're just wrong!

quote:
thisisntmenam came out of the closet to say:
That seriously bothers you? My speed varies a lot when I'm on a hilly road unless I want to waste gas like there's no tomorow (I have a light car, so I don't get much momentum for the hills)


Not over hills, no, because of that whole gravity thing. I was referring to long straight ways when people do this. If a driver can't maintain a constant fucking speed limit, he shouldn't bother to get out of the slow lane, where all the other traffic blockers are.

This is closely related to the fucktards that do 10mph below that of the flow of traffic and then speed up so as to keep people from passing them. I hate those people most of all. It is because of them, in fact, that I have seriously considered designing weaponry into my vehicle.

May 02, 2003: 00:32
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thisisntmenam
Joined: Dec 11, 2000

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S STICKIER - THE THREADS I HATE SO MUCH OR MY ANUS AFTER A NIGHT OF HOT GOAT-ON-MY-ASS LOVING

quote:
Feather came out of the closet to say:
This is closely related to the fucktards that do 10mph below that of the flow of traffic and then speed up so as to keep people from passing them. I hate those people most of all. It is because of them, in fact, that I have seriously considered designing weaponry into my vehicle.
Yes. They need to die. Whatever kind of weaponry you get make sure it is a agonizing and painful death.

May 02, 2003: 00:36
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Tirade
Joined: Jul 16, 2001

My dad is a furry, my GF is Margret Cho, and I'm BOZO THE CLOWN!

quote:
JimmyJARS came out of the closet to say:



Is this in naperville, Illinois by any chance?



It's Charlotte St. in Brisbane, Australia.

May 02, 2003: 00:45
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HPopper 2.0
Joined: Jul 14, 2001


You see:


About a dozen assholes see:

May 02, 2003: 00:47
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exploitedtroll
Joined: Mar 30, 2003


^^^I MADE MINE AN HOUR AGO SO YOU DIDNT BEAT ME


May 02, 2003: 00:49
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Thaw
Joined: Sep 09, 2002


Does anyone still have that "Watch out. IT'S THE CLAW!!" sign someone posted a while back? I was always sad I didn't save it.

It was a sign someone altered using electric tape! Real life photoshoppery!

Kill me.

May 02, 2003: 00:49
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ToiletDuk
Joined: Sep 04, 2002


That's right, fat stuff.
Shake those chins!

quote:
Tirade came out of the closet to say:
It's Charlotte St. in Brisbane, Australia.

I'm glad you answered this, because I was about to give the traditional "I don't fucking know, I got the image from google" answer.

May 02, 2003: 00:57
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Apecube
Joined: Feb 17, 2003




Sorry it's not terribly great Photoshopping, but it gets the message across. That message being: I HATE BOXER-INNERS. Yes, that's the technical term.

May 02, 2003: 00:59
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MunchE
Joined: Sep 07, 2000

Hot Damn, I finally bought a custom title!

quote:
Feather came out of the closet to say:


This is closely related to the fucktards that do 10mph below that of the flow of traffic and then speed up so as to keep people from passing them. I hate those people most of all. It is because of them, in fact, that I have seriously considered designing weaponry into my vehicle.



Get a car that's a fair bit faster than your average family sedan, you never have a problem passing people. :-D

May 02, 2003: 01:06
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Mael
Joined: Sep 29, 2000

Forum Vitamin

quote:
TheGreatGildersneeze came out of the closet to say:



CLICK HERE FOR HERBAL VIAGRA

May 02, 2003: 01:09
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Orb Kaftan
Joined: Sep 09, 2001


quote:
Phut came out of the closet to say:
[img-traffic light]

meh, not funny :/



I always learned it like this:

May 02, 2003: 01:10
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TheGreatGildersneeze
Joined: Feb 24, 2001


Pizza Engineer

quote:
Apecube came out of the closet to say:
Sorry it's not terribly great Photoshopping
Bah, mine aren't that great either. The biggest problem is not having Illustrator on this computer. Try as I might, I can't properly skew text in Photoshop to save my fucking life. Especially when the signs (like the stop sign ones) are only skewed at a ridiculously slight angle.

Fortunately, I'll be getting Illustrator from school tomorrow, and I'll go back and fix the images a bit.

May 02, 2003: 01:12
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Dillinger
Joined: Feb 27, 2003


clean

This thread is fucking brilliant because it's completly true.

Especially the assholes who slam on their brakes at the last second. Just cause your perfect car can handle it doesn't mean MINE can. I learned this skidding into the back of a van that came to a complete stop right in front of me because the two breakdown lanes were taken up by the other TWO cars that swerved to avoid the stupid faggot.

May 02, 2003: 01:19
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Evil the Cat
Joined: Oct 17, 2001


quote:
Phut came out of the closet to say:


meh, not funny :/



The following applies to 99% of NYC drivers:

May 02, 2003: 01:20
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dojokm
Joined: Sep 20, 2001


meh.


dojokm fucked around with this message at May 02, 2003 around 01:29

May 02, 2003: 01:26
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Cocktail Kitten
Joined: Mar 09, 2003


There is no greater threat than invasion by the Russian block. It distracts drivers worldwide and was the leading cause of car accidents in 1987!

Cocktail Kitten fucked around with this message at May 02, 2003 around 01:50

May 02, 2003: 01:34
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Raz-Diet
Joined: Apr 21, 2002


Forum Doctor

quote:
You are a nerd came out of the closet to say:
lol physics nerd lol




Marry me.

May 02, 2003: 01:43
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TheGreatGildersneeze
Joined: Feb 24, 2001


Pizza Engineer

This one, I present as proof positive. I don't think anyone will argue.

You see:


They see:


I swear, they don't even need to see the sign, just be within two miles of a mall.

Couldn't quite get the fonts to match, but I'm also not spending twenty years on a font site looking for the exact right one.

Edit: Whoops. Wrong picture.

May 02, 2003: 01:58
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WindyMan
Joined: Mar 20, 2002


Everyone feels this way.

WindyMan decided to show you this image:

May 02, 2003: 02:09
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TracerBullet
Joined: Apr 25, 2003


fortunatly, my last thought turned out the lights when it left.

I'm fucking juiced that the sign I used got so much milage. Go google image search, go!

May 02, 2003: 02:20
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Apecube
Joined: Feb 17, 2003


quote:
TracerBullet came out of the closet to say:
I'm fucking juiced that the sign I used got so much milage. Go google image search, go!


Dude, you can always rest assured that there's someone lazier than you. That being said, thanks for the sign.

May 02, 2003: 02:44
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Ascoe
Joined: Apr 26, 2003


I'm way tired... but someone should do a pun on "drivers" in the context of operating systems/hardware :]

Also, the ominous on/offramp lane. You know the one... it leads off the freeway, then people merge on, then people merge off... then it connects to the same freeway. It usually says something to the effect of Exit - Through Traffic Okay. This, naturally, needs to be translated as "Going too slow? Drive the fuck through. The people in the On-Ramp want to race."

A Tunnel warning photoshopped to say "LAY ON THE HORN" would be nice too.

I need some fucking sleep

edit - yes i already submitted one image to this thread.

Ascoe fucked around with this message at May 02, 2003 around 02:54

May 02, 2003: 02:51
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Nitrox
Joined: Jul 04, 2002


Someone please make a sign that condemns people who don't understand the one and only 2 lane merging rule. It's left car, right car, left car, right car. No, you can't squeese your yippie mobile right after the car in front, let the car in another lane take its righteous turn, motherfucker.

May 02, 2003: 03:05
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Kobalt
Joined: Mar 18, 2003



quote:
talkingapple came out of the closet to say:

i drive perfectly fine when i am stoned.

ever tried it?




AHAHA, I used to think the same thing. Intoxication has caused the following responses: (To never be repeated again.)

Stop sign + stoned - Sit there for about a minute. Friend looks over, "Dude, what are doing?" Me: "Waiting for it to turn green."

Red Light + drunk - Stop at red light, look both ways, no cars, then go through intersection. Friend looks over, "Dude, what are you doing?" Me: "Oh shit, what am I doing?"

May 02, 2003: 03:08
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Stitch
Joined: Aug 02, 2000

Forum Veteran

quote:
CalvinDooglas came out of the closet to say:
[img-roundabout]

in case some of you aren't familiar with roundabout procedures:
As you can only turn right, you aren't supposed to use a turn signal. the roundabout is also to be treated as a 4-way yield. you don't stop unless there's someone coming, and you don't go until it's clear.



In some communities (California, for example) you're suppposed to signal as if there were no roundabout. Most drivers have no clue anyway though.

My traffic story for the day: I was driving home. My route takes me past a school. I stopped to let some kids jaywalk. The girl starts yelling at me for no reason that I could see. The boy just looked at me with a sympathetic expression and shrugged. I like that kid. He'll go far.

May 02, 2003: 03:10
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exploitedtroll
Joined: Mar 30, 2003


quote:
Cocktail Kitten came out of the closet to say:
There is no greater threat than invasion by the Russian block. It distracts drivers worldwide and was the leading cause of car accidents in 1987!




I think this needs more love. I always appreciate a humorous tetris reference. 5!

May 02, 2003: 03:13
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You are a nerd
Joined: Apr 09, 2003


See?

quote:
Raz-Diet came out of the closet to say:


Marry me.



Done and done!

Uh... You're a chick, right?

May 02, 2003: 03:18
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Whiplash
Joined: Dec 05, 2002


Never trust a monkey.

quote:
Cocktail Kitten came out of the closet to say:



I <3 you.

May 02, 2003: 03:20
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Nitrox
Joined: Jul 04, 2002


Fuck, I'll do it myself. Kudos to ToiletDuk for the source image.


__________________

May 02, 2003: 03:28
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andrew-isaloser
Joined: Apr 17, 2001


quote:
Mr. Siffredi came out of the closet to say:
[img-computerneeds]


HAHAHAHAHA

May 02, 2003: 03:36
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atomtbomb
Joined: Mar 23, 2003


May 02, 2003: 03:40
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osoiman
Joined: Aug 06, 2002


quote:
drags came out of the closet to say:


My dads been trucking driving for close to 30 years now.

A) most trucks can't do 95 with a load, and not often will they go that fast with en ampty (box) trailer. It tends to slide easy.
B) Truck driving means you drive as a job, most truckers I know are quite good. My dads personal record is 28 years with 0 at fault accidents and 1 ticket. (a non moving one)
C) When you fear a large truck and you pull ahead of it to get yourself "safe" then slow down like some old siezuring fuck on his way to church, you make people mad. Imagine if someone did that to you. Truckers with the extra oomph will pass you back, which is probably why you think all truckers do 95, to get around your scaredy ass.



I was driving back to Indy from Dallas about three years ago, doing 75 on 1-70 somewhere in Missouri, when this trucker starts gaining on me, and I sped up to avoid being run over. I only had a '89 Civic though, so I could only get up to 85 before the engine started going 'BWAAAAAAAAAA' really loud. I managed to push it up to 90, and the trucker was still riding my ass, so I slowed down gradually, and eventually he passed me. Then, with no warning, the trucker SLAMS ON HIS FUCKING BRAKES NO BRAKE LIGHTS OR ANYTHING JUST BIGASS TRAILER TAKING UP MORE AND MORE OF MY FRONT FIELD OF VISION!!! It was night, and I was kinda sleepy, but I braked just in time to avoid hitting him. He sped up and slammed his brakes again, and repeated that 4 or 5 times. The truck pulled into a rest stop eventually; I followed him but there was nothing I could do since I left my GUN at HOME RRRRGH...

May 02, 2003: 03:49
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BrianQuaker
Joined: Nov 22, 2002


Stupidity is the devil. Look in the eye of a chicken and you'll know. It's the most horrifying, cannibalistic, and nightmarish creature in this world.

quote:
WindyMan came out of the closet to say:
Everyone feels this way.


So true.

May 02, 2003: 03:52
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Big Mark
Joined: Feb 04, 2003


Don't be a monas.

quote:
Kobalt came out of the closet to say:
Stop sign + stoned - Sit there for about a minute. Friend looks over, "Dude, what are doing?" Me: "Waiting for it to turn green."

You win the thread, without photoshop! Impressive.

May 02, 2003: 03:52
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WindyMan
Joined: Mar 20, 2002


.

WindyMan decided to show you this image:

May 02, 2003: 03:52
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StupidWhore
Joined: Oct 25, 2000

Forum Veteran

quote:
atomtbomb came out of the closet to say:



OMFG 5!

Holy shit this is golden and true....oh so true.

May 02, 2003: 03:58
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Apecube
Joined: Feb 17, 2003


quote:
Kobalt came out of the closet to say:



Red Light + drunk - Stop at red light, look both ways, no cars, then go through intersection. Friend looks over, "Dude, what are you doing?" Me: "Oh shit, what am I doing?"



I've done that perfectly sober.

May 02, 2003: 04:00
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Shmorky
Joined: Nov 05, 2002


Shmorky Shmorky Shmorky!

I love this thread.

...I gave up driving a long time ago because of how stupid everyone on the road is. This makes me wonder: are they cheating on their tests or are they just really big assholes who don't follow the rules?

Oh and also, you can't win on EITHER lane:

Shmorky decided to show you this image:

May 02, 2003: 05:05
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Mike Works
Joined: Feb 25, 2003


It's what most people don't see in some cases..

May 02, 2003: 05:06
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kliksf
Joined: Dec 31, 2002


Information Cul-de-Sac

Hahaha. I just love this image....

kliksf decided to show you this image:

May 02, 2003: 05:19
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Shmorky
Joined: Nov 05, 2002


Shmorky Shmorky Shmorky!

quote:
kliksf came out of the closet to say:
Hahaha. I just love this image....


Yeah. When I was moving in to my new place me and my roommate noticed there's a hydrant right in front of us. We thought "great, we can park there and unload the car quickly!" Unfortunetly there was always some asshole PARKING RIGHT THERE WHERE THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO. You know, the best part is even when we told a cop the guy didn't get towed or ticketed or anything.

May 02, 2003: 05:33
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Carbon
Joined: Mar 09, 2003


May 02, 2003: 05:54
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Itachi
Joined: Mar 31, 2001

IT WASN'T PISS!

quote:
WindyMan came out of the closet to say:
HOLD YOUR BREATH


I ALWAYS do that when driving. I don't even know why anymore, it's just a habit.

There's this super long tunnel up by the Sea-Tac airport that nearly kills me.

May 02, 2003: 06:06
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ToiletDuk
Joined: Sep 04, 2002


That's right, fat stuff.
Shake those chins!

While searching for source images I came across this little gem:



Poor fella.

May 02, 2003: 07:15
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porkface
Joined: Dec 28, 2000

CLICK TO IGNORE ME. I WOULD LET A MAN DIE IF HE HAD DIFFERENT POLITICAL BELEIFS THAN I.

quote:
Cocktail Kitten came out of the closet to say:
boo for shitty source image, but I'm at work.
Extra funny because I was in a full car once and saw a UPS sized truck almost do this, and that's exactly what we all said as we saw him veering off the road before suddenly swerving to correct.

Well done.

May 02, 2003: 07:18
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AdrenalX
Joined: Sep 21, 2002


Meh ... this didn't turn out well.

May 02, 2003: 07:25
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Feather
Joined: Mar 01, 2003

I'm not closed minded; you're just wrong!

quote:
MunchE came out of the closet to say:


Get a car that's a fair bit faster than your average family sedan, you never have a problem passing people. :-D



Except for that pesky thing about safety I like to occasionally acknowledge. The speed limits are revenue generators, but they are also fairly accurate measures of safe speeds. So is the flow of traffic. If traffic is doing 80-85, then me doing 95 to get around some schleb that speeds up to 85 from 70 as I pass him is just as unsafe as fuckface doing his "hahaha you can't pass me" routine.

May 02, 2003: 08:08
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ThirtyseveN
Joined: Jan 07, 2001

"I'd prefer something metal, and bigger, that makes louder noises and fires massive bullets that are on fire."

quote:
Your Boogie Man came out of the closet to say:



This is the single best thing I have ever seen. Marry me.

May 02, 2003: 09:27
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Long Hill Avenue
Joined: Mar 17, 2003


Stick Figure Chic

Awesome thread.

__________________
LHA

May 02, 2003: 09:34
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jood
Joined: Mar 19, 2003


quote:
ToiletDuk came out of the closet to say:

HOLY SHIT.

I, sir, flick my bic in your general direction.

quote:
You are a nerd came out of the closet to say:
lol physics nerd lol


From one nerd to another: bloody freakin' awesome.


fives all around

May 02, 2003: 10:23
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JojoTheGoat
Joined: Mar 05, 2002


I hate the other drivers in charlotte as well. Mostly it's the strange fact that somehow, no matter what, if there are two cars in front of you they always manage to stay right next to each other, so that no one can ever pass. I'm sure I could have worded that better, but I just wrote several essays for ap us history and my english is suffering from it. Some lady parks on the side of the road in my moms apartment complex too. She takes up a whole lane and makes the entire area (on a turn too) one lane. I almost took a baseball bat to her windshield one night when I was in a bad mood. Seriously. I've tried leaving notes and everything. There's even parking spaces open RIGHT NEXT TO HER CAR. It makes me

edit: oh, and I love truckers. They've always been very good and courteous drivers around me. I also like to convoy with them on long road trips, as they know all the back routes around traffic jams. Plus, it's just plain fun to listen to them talk on the CB radio when I'm bored while driving. They always point out where all the hot chicks are too! It's like a triple-word score.. I don't understand how people could not like truckers.

JojoTheGoat fucked around with this message at May 02, 2003 around 10:29

May 02, 2003: 10:26
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JRock
Joined: Sep 19, 2000

Mike was going to advertise here, but after seeing some of my more obscene posts involving midget pornography, he decided it would be better not to!

quote:
TheGreatGildersneeze came out of the closet to say:




I've gone AROUND people doing that at lights I know are incredibly long. Fuck that.

May 02, 2003: 10:27
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Grater
Joined: Jul 10, 2001

Might seem like a nice guy, but cross me once...

quote:
WindyMan came out of the closet to say:
.
Needs more love. So true, so true.

May 02, 2003: 10:31
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redium
Joined: Feb 16, 2001


SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND

Haha, great job everyone. Have any chicago goons ever seen that one sign on Foster maybe 20 miles out of downtown that says "DON'T EVEN THINK OF PARKING HERE" with a encircled P? I am obsessed with stealing that sign one day.

It's right by a gas station and right turn only intersection which I can never remember.

Edit: 5

redium fucked around with this message at May 02, 2003 around 10:41

May 02, 2003: 10:37
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Toadpuppy
Joined: Apr 08, 2003


quote:
drags came out of the closet to say:


My dads been trucking driving for close to 30 years now.

A) most trucks can't do 95 with a load, and not often will they go that fast with en ampty (box) trailer. It tends to slide easy.
B) Truck driving means you drive as a job, most truckers I know are quite good. My dads personal record is 28 years with 0 at fault accidents and 1 ticket. (a non moving one)
C) When you fear a large truck and you pull ahead of it to get yourself "safe" then slow down like some old siezuring fuck on his way to church, you make people mad. Imagine if someone did that to you. Truckers with the extra oomph will pass you back, which is probably why you think all truckers do 95, to get around your scaredy ass.



This always comes up when someone dares to say that truckers who drive too fast might be somewhat dangerous...

I-75 between Ocala and the turnpike to Orlando, four days before Thanksgiving, 2 years ago, I saw a truck with a full load going at least 90, passing everything on the road, weaving in and out of traffic. Never mind that 75 is INSANELY busy around the holidays; this guy had to be ahead of everyone. He was racing the entire interstate.

I-70 just outside Blue Springs, MO, 8 years ago. DOn't remember the date, sorry. My dad and I are leaving for Florida, with my brother following in his pickup. We have pulled off the road to check something on Dad's travel trailer, and are ready to merge back. The road is clear, Dad accelerates, puts on his turn signal, and merges into the right lane. My brother follows. A truck that had been a mile back hits his gas so that, a minute later, he can ride our asses, and we hear him telling his trucker friends over the CB that we cut him off.

I-70 between Colombia, MO and St. Louis, 6 years ago, a week before Christmas. My brother and I are meeting my dad in North Carolina for Christmas. We are in the right lane, driving along, minding our own business, and a trucker passes us at about 75. He swoops into our lane just long enough to force us onto the shoulder, then swings back into the left lane and continues on his way.

Those are just 3 of the many, many bad experiences I've had with truckers. So don't tell me they are all wonderful safe drivers who wouldn't hurt a fly, because they know they can kill you and they just don't care.

May 02, 2003: 10:38
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Frog Vomit
Joined: Jul 11, 2001


quote:
Kobalt came out of the closet to say:
Stop sign + stoned - Sit there for about a minute. Friend looks over, "Dude, what are doing?" Me: "Waiting for it to turn green."


Samr thing happened to a girl I know. We were all in the car, going to the grocery store at like 3AM to rearrange cans (It aws high school, 10 years ago, maybe and we were all on acid) and she did the exact same thing.

Well, not QUITE the same thing. She was stopped at one of those signs that says "Stop Sign Ahead" waiting for THAT to turn green.

May 02, 2003: 10:54
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Beldar
Joined: Nov 07, 2002


quote:
Your Boogie Man came out of the closet to say:


You can't touch this. No one can.

5

May 02, 2003: 11:00
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Skyssx
Joined: Feb 02, 2001


It's a pirates life for me!

quote:
Nitrox came out of the closet to say:
Someone please make a sign that condemns people who don't understand the one and only 2 lane merging rule. It's left car, right car, left car, right car. No, you can't squeese your yippie mobile right after the car in front, let the car in another lane take its righteous turn, motherfucker.


NO koreans know this basic rule of driving. I taught it to them* with the side of my hmvee.

*they taught it to themselves playing chicken with a 6000 pound vehicle.

May 02, 2003: 11:09
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Kynes
Joined: Dec 22, 2002


quote:
ToiletDuk came out of the closet to say:
Mmm, dip = gold

[img-hologram]



I know it's way back in the thread, but:

1) lollerblades

2) 5

May 02, 2003: 11:13
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Rozdower
Joined: Apr 19, 2003

k

great thread 5

May 02, 2003: 11:13
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Super_weevil
Joined: Feb 23, 2003


This thread had me chuckling all the way through. Definitely a fiver.

May 02, 2003: 11:18
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jood
Joined: Mar 19, 2003


quote:
redium came out of the closet to say:
Haha, great job everyone. Have any chicago goons ever seen that one sign on Foster maybe 20 miles out of downtown that says "DON'T EVEN THINK OF PARKING HERE" with a encircled P? I am obsessed with stealing that sign one day.

It's right by a gas station and right turn only intersection which I can never remember.

Edit: 5

Can't find the exact one, but you can get something similar:

http://www.rauscountrystore.com/nostalgicfolder/Parkingsignfolder/Parkingsignphotos.html#Anchor-29360
http://www.dollsale.com/Z27.jpg
http://home.nyc.gov/html/dot/html/signs/parking.html

May 02, 2003: 11:30
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Nitrox
Joined: Jul 04, 2002


quote:
Skyssx came out of the closet to say:
NO koreans know this basic rule of driving. I taught it to them* with the side of my hmvee.

*they taught it to themselves playing chicken with a 6000 pound vehicle.

We need more of people like you out there.

May 02, 2003: 11:37
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balistic
Joined: May 03, 2002


quote:
atomtbomb came out of the closet to say:



Some day I'm going to start a band just so I can call it "Hillbilly Stunt Ramp."

May 02, 2003: 11:43
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Cuddles
Joined: Jan 09, 2003


Be Afraid

I have issues with those who freak out when a lone drop of water appears on their windshield.

What I see:



What they apparently see:



I understand the need to drive carefully when it's raining, but I swear that >90% of drivers must be severe hydrophobes...

May 02, 2003: 11:52
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Reo
Joined: Apr 11, 2003


What you see:
http://www.tfn.net/~kimbery/sign.jpg

What they apparently see:
http://www.tfn.net/~kimbery/sign2.jpg

May 02, 2003: 11:55
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Mike Toole
Joined: Apr 09, 2001

Forum Veteran

Got a few.

What you see:


What they see:


I've experienced this one personally, many times! What you see:


What they see:


Conversely, what you see:


What the asshole on the bike sees:


This is a great idea. I may create more.

May 02, 2003: 12:11
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MrWarMage
Joined: Apr 16, 2003

Deposit cute boobies here.

quote:
JimmyJARS came out of the closet to say:



Is this in naperville, Illinois by any chance?



I doubt it. I was back home just recently (close to Naperville) and I don't recall seeing a "Saigon" sign near the riverwalk, which is where the majority of ricebikers hang out.

__________________
It's all crap.

May 02, 2003: 12:23
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StreetPreacher
Joined: Jun 21, 2002


From the backroads, I see this:

Rednecks see this:

May 02, 2003: 12:24
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kliksf
Joined: Dec 31, 2002


Information Cul-de-Sac




but really....


May 02, 2003: 12:35
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Cocktail Kitten
Joined: Mar 09, 2003


quote:
Mike Toole came out of the closet to say:
What they see:




Yay, I was working on that one but had lousy source for it. I was hoping somone'd make it. =)

May 02, 2003: 12:45
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Sepherothic
Joined: Feb 07, 2003


I assembled the greatest video in the history of GBS. And I know how to PARTY HARD!!!

well i was bored

May 02, 2003: 12:47
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evilhanz
Joined: Mar 05, 2002


Judging by the weaving and swerving, I think most drivers are seeing this sign:

May 02, 2003: 12:50
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Reo
Joined: Apr 11, 2003


And a couple more...
You see:
http://www.tfn.net/~kimbery/sign3.jpg

The dick driving the riced up Honda sees:
http://www.tfn.net/~kimbery/sign4.jpg

May 02, 2003: 12:59
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CalvinDooglas
Joined: Dec 04, 2002


Watch For Fleeing Immigrants

one thing I really hate is when those damn Left-turners sit there and don't go until I have the signal, making everyone else wait

Reality



Behind the Wheel

May 02, 2003: 12:59
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Sepherothic
Joined: Feb 07, 2003


I assembled the greatest video in the history of GBS. And I know how to PARTY HARD!!!

May 02, 2003: 13:03
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Arbeitsplatz
Joined: Aug 09, 2002

Custom titles are for losers.

quote:
evilhanz came out of the closet to say:
Judging by the weaving and swerving, I think most drivers are seeing this sign:



Beautiful.

__________________
"...but instead, you chose GOPHER MOAT!"

May 02, 2003: 13:33
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Tyler
Joined: Mar 02, 2003

Hardcore Icon

quote:
sokkmonkey came out of the closet to say:



There is no such thing, you silly bastard.

May 02, 2003: 13:36
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thisisntmenam
Joined: Dec 11, 2000

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S STICKIER - THE THREADS I HATE SO MUCH OR MY ANUS AFTER A NIGHT OF HOT GOAT-ON-MY-ASS LOVING

quote:
Dillinger came out of the closet to say:
This thread is fucking brilliant because it's completly true.

Especially the assholes who slam on their brakes at the last second. Just cause your perfect car can handle it doesn't mean MINE can. I learned this skidding into the back of a van that came to a complete stop right in front of me because the two breakdown lanes were taken up by the other TWO cars that swerved to avoid the stupid faggot.

I hate to break it to you but that actually means you need to keep a greater following distance.

May 02, 2003: 14:06
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Free Radical
Joined: Sep 25, 2002

IMG-GONNAGETBANNEDLINE

quote:
Mike Works came out of the closet to say:



Perfect.

May 02, 2003: 14:11
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Reo
Joined: Apr 11, 2003


quote:
thisisntmenam came out of the closet to say:
I hate to break it to you but that actually means you need to keep a greater following distance.


"BREAK" IT TO YOU! I GET IT! BRAKE! HA HA HA!

May 02, 2003: 14:17
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plastickiwi
Joined: Dec 19, 2001

Tickled Purple!



EDIT: Sorry, just read thread title: What OTHER drivers see...

May 02, 2003: 14:19
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Rock Epidemic
Joined: Mar 17, 2001


Meh. Crappy source, but just a quickie anyway.

For the "Ooooh, Shiny" type of drivers:

May 02, 2003: 14:31
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skwidd
Joined: Mar 29, 2003


quote:
jood came out of the closet to say:
I cannot speak for the thoughts of others, only for my own.




Thanks, Asshat! I'm not supposed to dip at work.

/copenhagen anyone?

May 02, 2003: 14:34
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danno
Joined: Dec 13, 2002


quote:
NOISEassault came out of the closet to say:
quick and dirty...


May 02, 2003: 14:37
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Glitch
Joined: May 06, 2002


May 02, 2003: 14:40
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arglefuck
Joined: Jan 14, 2003


May 02, 2003: 15:03
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hellion00
Joined: Jan 07, 2003


Different version of a previous idea...

Real sign:


What they see:

May 02, 2003: 15:17
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NOISEassault
Joined: Sep 02, 2002


quote:
Glitch came out of the closet to say:


this made me laugh the hardest... good show

May 02, 2003: 15:18
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Cocktail Kitten
Joined: Mar 09, 2003


Some people get distracted thinking about how much cooler it'd be to take a helicopter to work instead.

weeeee

Cocktail Kitten decided to show you this image:

May 02, 2003: 15:30
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Your Boogie Man
Joined: Apr 01, 2003


quote:
Cocktail Kitten came out of the closet to say:
Some people get distracted thinking about how much cooler it'd be to take a helicopter to work instead.

weeeee



Where are you and when can we start making babies?

May 02, 2003: 15:35
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Cao Cow
Joined: Apr 14, 2003

Lu Moo

quote:
StreetPreacher came out of the closet to say:
From the backroads, I see this:



That's the worst/best/most contradictory sign pair ever.

May 02, 2003: 15:38
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jood
Joined: Mar 19, 2003


quote:
StreetPreacher came out of the closet to say:

Needs more love.

May 02, 2003: 15:38
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Phrensy
Joined: Sep 11, 2001

Drunkard

quote:
plastickiwi came out of the closet to say:


EDIT: Sorry, just read thread title: What OTHER drivers see...



Thank god, I'm not the only one.

PS, much <3

May 02, 2003: 15:42
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caldrax
Joined: Jan 20, 2001


what i see:



what they see:



me:



them:

May 02, 2003: 15:48
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TracerBullet
Joined: Apr 25, 2003


fortunatly, my last thought turned out the lights when it left.

quote:
Cocktail Kitten came out of the closet to say:
Some people get distracted thinking about how much cooler it'd be to take a helicopter to work instead.

weeeee



Why are you so cool? I mean seriously...nice work.

May 02, 2003: 15:50
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StreetPreacher
Joined: Jun 21, 2002


quote:
Cao Cow came out of the closet to say:


That's the worst/best/most contradictory sign pair ever.



I was wondering how long it would take someone to notice that.

May 02, 2003: 15:51
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Aerolith
Joined: Dec 16, 2002

i got nothin

quote:
shihonage came out of the closet to say:
Real sign:



They see:





fixed.

May 02, 2003: 16:02
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WindyMan
Joined: Mar 20, 2002


They'll never learn.

WindyMan decided to show you this image:

May 02, 2003: 16:10
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TheGreatGildersneeze
Joined: Feb 24, 2001


Pizza Engineer

You see:


They must see:


Man, driving pizzas around will inspire you.

May 02, 2003: 16:13
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Cocktail Kitten
Joined: Mar 09, 2003


The CA highway commision understands what it's like to hear "Are we there yet?" one hundred times an hour.

Cocktail Kitten decided to show you this image:

Cocktail Kitten fucked around with this message at May 02, 2003 around 16:22

May 02, 2003: 16:14
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DesertRat
Joined: Mar 06, 2003


quote:
Itachi came out of the closet to say:


I ALWAYS do that when driving. I don't even know why anymore, it's just a habit.

There's this super long tunnel up by the Sea-Tac airport that nearly kills me.



I love that tunnel! I also honk in it (and the curved one letting you onto the 90 from the 405). Beep! Beep!

May 02, 2003: 16:15
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LoRules
Joined: Aug 14, 2002


quote:
Cocktail Kitten came out of the closet to say:
The CA highway commision understands what it's like to hear "Are we there yet?" one hundred times an hour.


hahaha, sweeeeet!

May 02, 2003: 16:20
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PlasmaBlade
Joined: Jan 27, 2003



quote:
Shmorky came out of the closet to say:
...I gave up driving a long time ago because of how stupid everyone on the road is. This makes me wonder: are they cheating on their tests or are they just really big assholes who don't follow the rules?


Considering how easy it is to pass the tests here in New Jersey at least, cheating is not needed. Then again, sometimes it seems impossible that they could put a pencil to paper, and must have cheated...

Also, brilliant work to all who posted.

May 02, 2003: 16:20
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mrWr0ng
Joined: Feb 12, 2001

naked AND free . . . bitch.

sorry for the quality.

mrWr0ng decided to show you this image:

May 02, 2003: 16:20
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Choicecut
Joined: Apr 24, 2002


Hillbilly stuntramp takes the cake.

May 02, 2003: 16:23
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SAIFishness
Joined: May 01, 2003


May 02, 2003: 16:43
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Glitch
Joined: May 06, 2002


May 02, 2003: 16:46
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Cocktail Kitten
Joined: Mar 09, 2003


the boozemoble driver on world's craziest police videos knows what's up...

Cocktail Kitten fucked around with this message at May 02, 2003 around 17:04

May 02, 2003: 16:56
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ask806
Joined: Apr 16, 2003


quote:
Sepherothic came out of the closet to say:



hahahahhaha

May 02, 2003: 17:00
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TheGreatGildersneeze
Joined: Feb 24, 2001


Pizza Engineer

Last one, I have to go to work (read: I'm late)

You see:


They see:


I can figure out no other explanation why I have to practice off-roading going around the outside of sharp curves.

May 02, 2003: 17:02
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Mike Works
Joined: Feb 25, 2003


quote:
Glitch came out of the closet to say:


hahahaha

May 02, 2003: 17:27
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billgx
Joined: Jan 15, 2003


May 02, 2003: 17:37
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FluKe_
Joined: Aug 04, 2002


I think we will be seeing these in LA soon...

May 02, 2003: 17:42
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Jethro
Joined: Jun 01, 2000

I Don't Believe in Tan. I Believe in David Bowman.

quote:
TheGreatGildersneeze came out of the closet to say:
Last one, I have to go to work (read: I'm late)

You see:


They see:


I can figure out no other explanation why I have to practice off-roading going around the outside of sharp curves.

Kinda subtle. Took me a few minutes.

May 02, 2003: 17:50
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DarkLotus
Joined: Sep 30, 2001

I Haven't Been Fucked Like That Since Grade School!!!

quote:
Vorpal Bunny came out of the closet to say:
What the hell is that? Hunting zone?

Circle Jerk

May 02, 2003: 17:53
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Kungfubar
Joined: Aug 23, 2002




What I see.

Every day I get on the same freeway to get to work, and see a sign identical to this. The onramp starts a new lane on the freeway and every day I swear some god damn retard comes to a full stop and looks for oncoming traffic where there is absolutly none to come from!

What they probobly see.

May 02, 2003: 18:02
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Celer
Joined: Apr 08, 2003


You see:


They see:


"If I drive real slow, nobody will see me!" -

May 02, 2003: 18:08
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Aerolith
Joined: Dec 16, 2002

i got nothin

quote:
Celer came out of the closet to say:
You see:


They see:


"If I drive real slow, nobody will see me!" -



i like how the eyes move at the same rate.

May 02, 2003: 18:21
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ChlamydiaJones
Joined: Sep 27, 2002


What They see;

What I see;

May 02, 2003: 18:53
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exploitedtroll
Joined: Mar 30, 2003


What I see on American roads:


What I see in Canada:

May 02, 2003: 21:31
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TheGreatGildersneeze
Joined: Feb 24, 2001


Pizza Engineer

What I see:


What they see:


Inspired by one of my favorite things to shout at people that hold me up at Right on Red-Friendly lights: "Come on, motherfucker! It's a right turn, not a career change!"

May 02, 2003: 22:09
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Mike Works
Joined: Feb 25, 2003


What some see:



What others see:

May 02, 2003: 22:28
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TheGreatGildersneeze
Joined: Feb 24, 2001


Pizza Engineer

^^^Ummm, I don't get it.^^^

May 02, 2003: 22:31
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