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The Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > [with bonus rant!] What other drivers see when they look at traffic signs. Thread Rating: 257 votes, 4.91 average. (4): 1 2 3 4 »  
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TheGreatGildersneeze
Joined: Feb 24, 2001


Pizza Engineer

Ahhh, driving. One of life's little pleasures that would be a hell of a lot more pleasurable without the other people participating. Sometimes, you just have to wonder things like "what in the god damn fuck is going on in that idiot's head!? Is he seeing things that I'm not? I'm completely confused here!"

Well, the way I figure, they must indeed be seeing things. It's fucking impossible for them to be looking at the same signs I am.

For instance, where I see a sign that says:


I'm convinced that other drivers see


There's no other explanation for them deciding to stop driving at a sign that says Yield when there's no oncoming traffic blocking the direction they will be turning.

"But Gildersneeze," you ask. "Isn't that impossible?" To which I reply "Hell no. Just check out these other examples!"

When I see this sign here, a simple stop sign:


I'm certain that other drivers see one of two things, either

or

That's great. The former scares the piss out of anyone who's been hit by people that see the latter. But neither of these mysterious afflictions of vision match the enigma that is "The Left Turn Traffic Signal."

We've all been there, sitting behind someone at one of these.

All those times, to me, it looked like this:


Of course, that isn't what they see. From their actions, they must see something like this:


Well, after all that gesticulating, and inching forward, you'd figure that when the light changes to the state shown here:



that they'd fucking floor it as hard as possible, but that's not the case. I swear to fucking whatever deity is convenient in my mind that they see this:



And heeeeere we go. Regardless of how many times you blast your horn, wave your hand in a "hurry up" gesture, or raise your finger in my favorite gesture, nothing, but NOTHING will shake them from the task that the mighty green light has bestowed upon them. Well, at any rate not until I see a symbol that should appear to them like this:



But they must perceive it like this:



All this serves to piss me right the hell off, how about you? What do you figure drivers in your town see?

edit: Post format sucked. Fixed.

TheGreatGildersneeze fucked around with this message at May 01, 2003 around 17:15

May 01, 2003: 17:09
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DogWelder
Joined: Jan 15, 2001


"Monsters?"

I see great things for this thread.
Well done on the Photoshops.

May 01, 2003: 17:10
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Xylek
Joined: Nov 11, 2001

Ultima Ratio Regum

I laughed. Good show

May 01, 2003: 17:11
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CaptainScraps
Joined: Jan 31, 2003


I had my championship ring custom fitted for my middle finger so that'd it'd look better when i flip people off driving, which is constantly.

May 01, 2003: 17:12
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YeehawMcKickass
Joined: Jan 01, 2003


*PARTY*

My favorite is the left green arrow, it's too true.
More please.

Also, 5

Also,

May 01, 2003: 17:12
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Jeff W
Joined: Jun 15, 2002

Space Cowboy

Too true.

I believe that we should switch all road signs with quotes since nobody ever follows them anyway. I would drive happily along If every road sign was Lyrics from a Dylan song or a quote from Chomsky or Plato.

May 01, 2003: 17:14
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Crackpimp
Joined: Jul 22, 2002


kick in the door, wavin' the .44

quote:
TheGreatGildersneeze came out of the closet to say:




Thats not a bad driver though... when the yellow arrow appears only the people in the intersection are supposed to advance, anyone still in the queue isn't supposed to turn in that cycle

May 01, 2003: 17:15
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Shade Fell
Joined: Jun 01, 2000

Big Bad Forum Momma

I can't photoshop this as I don't have the tools, talent, or time, BUT...

There's an intersection in Oak Park that has huge signs saying "NO TURNS" and "DO NOT TURN."

This is one of the most dangerous intersections to try to cross either on foot or in a car, as there's people randomly turning, ignoring both the signs (which are lit up!) and the lights! They turn on red and green lights alike!

One man was holding up traffic (it was blocked back three city blocks) trying to make his illegal left turn. He was so offended by people honking at him that he GOT OUT OF HIS CAR and started yelling at everyone behind him, walking up to cars and shaking his fists and kicking tires and shit.

May 01, 2003: 17:16
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shihonage
Joined: Mar 18, 2003



Real sign:



They see:

code:

May 01, 2003: 17:17
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sigtrap
Joined: Apr 14, 2002







Not real original, but true.

sigtrap fucked around with this message at May 01, 2003 around 17:20

May 01, 2003: 17:18
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YeehawMcKickass
Joined: Jan 01, 2003


*PARTY*

quote:
Crackpimp came out of the closet to say:


Thats not a bad driver though... when the yellow arrow appears only the people in the intersection are supposed to advance, anyone still in the queue isn't supposed to turn in that cycle



Semi-useless fact:
If you're out in the intersection turning left on a yellow light (called committed to a turn), when the light turns red you have right of way over everything but emergency vehicles. (This may vary by state concerning pedestrians)

May 01, 2003: 17:18
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Meatball
Joined: Mar 02, 2003

lost in the sauce

other drivers actaully see signs?
i thought most people lost thier ability to read the second the car starts

__________________
I can say shit in 8 languages!

May 01, 2003: 17:19
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casey
Joined: Dec 12, 2002


quote:
Crackpimp came out of the closet to say:


Thats not a bad driver though... when the yellow arrow appears only the people in the intersection are supposed to advance, anyone still in the queue isn't supposed to turn in that cycle



in texas you can still enter an intersection during yellow, and once its red everyone who entered it has an obligation to clear it.

May 01, 2003: 17:20
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DogWelder
Joined: Jan 15, 2001


"Monsters?"

May 01, 2003: 17:21
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Hardcore
Joined: Jul 09, 2002


I was reading the FYAD name as i clicked on GBS, so for some reason I thought I was in FYAD. Then when I clicked on this thread the first thought to go through my head was, " Wow this guy went to alot of work just to get flamed in FYAD." But now I realize I am not in FYAD, so well done, those are pretty good.

May 01, 2003: 17:22
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TheGreatGildersneeze
Joined: Feb 24, 2001


Pizza Engineer

quote:
Crackpimp came out of the closet to say:


Thats not a bad driver though... when the yellow arrow appears only the people in the intersection are supposed to advance, anyone still in the queue isn't supposed to turn in that cycle

Problem is, I'm referring to the same person who DIDN'T go when the light was green. It's like these turds think that left turn lanes are one car per cycle.

TheGreatGildersneeze fucked around with this message at May 01, 2003 around 17:25

May 01, 2003: 17:22
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Dextor
Joined: Jan 29, 2002

Lord of the Pook

quote:
Crackpimp came out of the closet to say:


Thats not a bad driver though... when the yellow arrow appears only the people in the intersection are supposed to advance, anyone still in the queue isn't supposed to turn in that cycle

He didn't say it was what bad drivers do. He said it was fucking annoying, and any normal, red-blooded male between the ages of 17 and 50 would tend to agree.

May 01, 2003: 17:23
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Cmdr Will Riker
Joined: Mar 26, 2003


quote:
TheGreatGildersneeze came out of the closet to say:
gesticulating.


AHAHAHAHAHAAA GREAT WORD 5.

May 01, 2003: 17:26
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Moop
Joined: Dec 11, 2002

Digital Jedi

My problem is when people don't get into the intersection, and then I get stuck in the red, when I could have made it into the intersection, when the guy infront of me went during the yellow. BUT NO.. he is fucking 10 feet away from the intersection, and when it gets yellow he inches up to go... as if he forgot the shit would turn yellow.. good stuff on the photoshops/concept.

May 01, 2003: 17:27
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NOISEassault
Joined: Sep 02, 2002


quick and dirty...

NOISEassault decided to show you this image:

May 01, 2003: 17:27
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monkeyboy
Joined: Feb 02, 2002


Dance, please

i'm convinced of this one.

monkeyboy decided to show you this image:

May 01, 2003: 17:29
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GoatRearEnd
Joined: Oct 24, 2002


quote:
Shade Fell came out of the closet to say:
There's an intersection in Oak Park that has huge signs saying "NO TURNS" and "DO NOT TURN."

This is one of the most dangerous intersections to try to cross either on foot or in a car, as there's people randomly turning, ignoring both the signs (which are lit up!) and the lights! They turn on red and green lights alike!



Harlem and Circle?

Oh, some guy was honking at me today for following a sign... the below is what he must have seen.

GoatRearEnd decided to show you this image:

May 01, 2003: 17:30
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Mr. Siffredi
Joined: Apr 04, 2003


May 01, 2003: 17:31
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Sepherothic
Joined: Feb 07, 2003


I assembled the greatest video in the history of GBS. And I know how to PARTY HARD!!!

May 01, 2003: 17:31
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AndGoatForMe
Joined: Mar 13, 2002

Meditation is stronger than ROBOTS

quote:
Crackpimp came out of the closet to say:
Thats not a bad driver though... when the yellow arrow appears only the people in the intersection are supposed to advance, anyone still in the queue isn't supposed to turn in that cycle


You must be Canadian. Canada is the only place where I've seen jackasses stop and sit at a yellow light. There is a reason that most intersections have a three second delay between red in one direction and green in the other, it's so you don't have to stop on a yellow and wait with your thumb up your ass for thrity seconds for the light to turn red.

May 01, 2003: 17:32
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TracerBullet
Joined: Apr 25, 2003


fortunatly, my last thought turned out the lights when it left.



And here's a blank speed limit sign I mades for you alls.

Blank!

Edit cause I can't spell suRprise...better lay off the sauce.

TracerBullet fucked around with this message at May 01, 2003 around 18:04

May 01, 2003: 17:33
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allhailskippy
Joined: Mar 05, 2003


quote:
Sepherothic came out of the closet to say:



That's fucking awesome.

May 01, 2003: 17:34
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Luxmore
Joined: Jun 05, 2001


I hate elderly drivers.

May 01, 2003: 17:34
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Shade Fell
Joined: Jun 01, 2000

Big Bad Forum Momma

quote:
GoatRearEnd came out of the closet to say:


Harlem and Circle?

Oh, some guy was honking at me today for following a sign... the below is what he must have seen.



It's right off the Austin stop on the Green Line.

Austin and whatever street that is.

See, the no-turn signs only apply during rush hour, at which point they are lit up.

NOBODY follows them, though.

Also, yesterday, some kids were riding down THE CENTER OF THE LANES, into oncoming traffic, 'popping wheelies.' Where the fuck are the cops? Or the parents? There were almost several fatalities.

May 01, 2003: 17:35
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greatn
Joined: Dec 11, 2001


There is a fine line between good and greatn

quote:
Shade Fell came out of the closet to say:
I can't photoshop this as I don't have the tools, talent, or time, BUT...

There's an intersection in Oak Park that has huge signs saying "NO TURNS" and "DO NOT TURN."

This is one of the most dangerous intersections to try to cross either on foot or in a car, as there's people randomly turning, ignoring both the signs (which are lit up!) and the lights! They turn on red and green lights alike!

One man was holding up traffic (it was blocked back three city blocks) trying to make his illegal left turn. He was so offended by people honking at him that he GOT OUT OF HIS CAR and started yelling at everyone behind him, walking up to cars and shaking his fists and kicking tires and shit.




{{{{Shade Fell}}}} I never see you on here anymore! Nice to see you still browse from time to time.


Anyway, I have a couple of clever ideas for this thread, but alas, I am no longer allowed to photoshop.

May 01, 2003: 17:35
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Syrinxx
Joined: Mar 27, 2002


I love TGG. This thread is going to be wonderful.

May 01, 2003: 17:35
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emil_muzz
Joined: Apr 13, 2002


Hate cellphones... Hate them sooooo much.

emil_muzz decided to show you this image:

May 01, 2003: 17:35
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WeThree
Joined: Mar 30, 2003


quote:
TracerBullet came out of the closet to say:
And here's a blank speed limit sign I mades for you alls.

Blank!



Wow you didn't have to go to all that trouble, gosh thanks.

May 01, 2003: 17:36
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King Metal
Joined: Jun 15, 2001


Thanks for the blank Tracerbullet

King Metal decided to show you this image:

May 01, 2003: 17:38
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sph3re
Joined: May 30, 2002


quote:
Shade Fell came out of the closet to say:
There's an intersection in Oak Park that has huge signs saying "NO TURNS" and "DO NOT TURN."...

I think I know this intersection well, around Austin (yes) and avoid it at all costs. One time was enough to scar me for life.

May 01, 2003: 17:38
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DogWelder
Joined: Jan 15, 2001


"Monsters?"

quote:
emil_muzz came out of the closet to say:
Hate cellphones... Hate them sooooo much.


Oh snap. Brilliant.

May 01, 2003: 17:40
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Scalper
Joined: Sep 30, 2002


Super Pervert



Edit: Off topic - sorry got carried away.

Scalper fucked around with this message at May 01, 2003 around 17:47

May 01, 2003: 17:40
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Shade Fell
Joined: Jun 01, 2000

Big Bad Forum Momma

quote:
sph3re came out of the closet to say:
I think I know this intersection well, around Austin (yes) and avoid it at all costs. One time was enough to scar me for life.


I get off the train there when walking to visit friends.

It's dangerous to cross, as the one street that runs paralell to the station is actually two streets, each with seperate crazy stop lights. WTF? People around there tend to ignore the lights and just drive however they feel like.

Harlem is always fucked.

May 01, 2003: 17:41
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LoungieMu
Joined: Apr 15, 2003

I probably have a lousy relationship with my mother.



May 01, 2003: 17:41
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TheGreatGildersneeze
Joined: Feb 24, 2001


Pizza Engineer

May 01, 2003: 17:43
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ToiletDuk
Joined: Sep 04, 2002


That's right, fat stuff.
Shake those chins!

I swear everybody around me sees this sign, especially when I'm coming the opposite direction.

ToiletDuk decided to show you this image:

May 01, 2003: 17:44
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jood
Joined: Mar 19, 2003


I cannot speak for the thoughts of others, only for my own.




May 01, 2003: 17:46
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GhostOfSam
Joined: Jul 27, 2001


Most people seem to see an "except you!" tab below any prohibitory sign. (EDIT: b10)

Oh, and http://www.aaroads.com/ishields/thb/i-005_ca.jpg

May 01, 2003: 17:46
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Meticuless
Joined: Apr 18, 2003

Could you just say "okay", after I say "okay"? OKAY?



becomes

May 01, 2003: 17:49
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roadhead
Joined: Dec 25, 2001

Sir Dick

quote:
TracerBullet came out of the closet to say:


And here's a blank speed limit sign I mades for you alls.

Blank!



suRprise me?


Right?

May 01, 2003: 17:50
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JohnnyR
Joined: Jan 30, 2002


quote:
emil_muzz came out of the closet to say:
Hate cellphones... Hate them sooooo much.


Beautiful. 5

__________________

Yes, I leave strip clubs at 8:30 a.m. Viva Las Vegas and GoonCon2k2!

May 01, 2003: 17:56
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Cocktail Kitten
Joined: Mar 09, 2003


I wanted to say "hey, don't worry, you can act like it's still two lanes and try to pass everyone going fifty, you fucking jerk"
but that's just too damned long.

Cocktail Kitten decided to show you this image:

May 01, 2003: 17:58
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neap0litan
Joined: Sep 09, 2001


The sign:


what other drivers see:

May 01, 2003: 17:59
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Kieran
Joined: Jan 09, 2001


May 01, 2003: 17:59
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Happydayz
Joined: Jan 05, 2001


quote:
jood came out of the closet to say:
I cannot speak for the thoughts of others, only for my own.








rofl!
good show my man, good show

May 01, 2003: 18:00
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luisv
Joined: Aug 08, 2000


From an old thread

May 01, 2003: 18:03
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Sepherothic
Joined: Feb 07, 2003


I assembled the greatest video in the history of GBS. And I know how to PARTY HARD!!!

May 01, 2003: 18:04
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Cromulent Being
Joined: Sep 11, 2001


quote:
Cocktail Kitten came out of the closet to say:
img-leftlaneends


hahahahah

May 01, 2003: 18:08
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Dead_President
Joined: Dec 30, 2002


fuck this thread is perfect. here in el mexicanpaso the I10 signs say "60" with 'minimum speed limit 45" underneath the 60. so of course, all the fucking beaners that cross over to rape super walmart and bestbuy go 45 or slower..

May 01, 2003: 18:09
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ToiletDuk
Joined: Sep 04, 2002


That's right, fat stuff.
Shake those chins!

Mmm, dip = gold

May 01, 2003: 18:10
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BoNNo530
Joined: Mar 17, 2002



quote:
Sepherothic came out of the closet to say:



AHAHHAHAH

good job guys, wish I didnt suck at photshop..

May 01, 2003: 18:10
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Howard Beale
Joined: Feb 22, 2001


Bigger than Mary Tyler Moore!

quote:
TheGreatGildersneeze came out of the closet to say:



That just about sums it up completely. Especially in Boston.
I was gonna give this thread a 5 already but now... I'm giving it a 55.

May 01, 2003: 18:10
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TracerBullet
Joined: Apr 25, 2003


fortunatly, my last thought turned out the lights when it left.

May 01, 2003: 18:12
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sm3g4
Joined: Nov 01, 2000


May 01, 2003: 18:12
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TracerBullet
Joined: Apr 25, 2003


fortunatly, my last thought turned out the lights when it left.

quote:
ToiletDuk came out of the closet to say:

img=toiletduk_holograms.jpg



Fucking awesome. 5.

May 01, 2003: 18:13
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fuckingtest
Joined: Mar 31, 2001


beware the naked astroman



e,fb but still so true.

May 01, 2003: 18:16
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Tyler
Joined: Mar 02, 2003

Hardcore Icon

quote:
Mr. Siffredi came out of the closet to say:



Come to the shitty computer show that has nothing good!

May 01, 2003: 18:18
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Ants
Joined: Jul 23, 2000


Hmmm!

May 01, 2003: 18:19
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Snaggletooth
Joined: Mar 15, 2002






No photoshop needed for one of my childhood favorites. Boy did they fuck the remake over. Why did they even do that?


May 01, 2003: 18:20
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MagnumHB
Joined: Jan 18, 2003


*Not racist.

Please excuse my subpar photoshopped dramatization (as I don't have an actual pic, and I'm lazy), but I think you'll get the point. I live in a town heavily populated by persons of Italian descent. Thus, this sign:


Is commonly read like this:

May 01, 2003: 18:20
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jood
Joined: Mar 19, 2003


quote:
fuckingtest came out of the closet to say:
http://www.amorphousmedia.net/clients/hugesuv.jpg
So. Fucking. True.


quote:
ToiletDuk came out of the closet to say:
http://www.fishdot.org/sa/images/toiletduk_holograms.jpg
BWA! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner.

May 01, 2003: 18:22
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Xavier
Joined: Dec 30, 2000


quote:
BoNNo530 came out of the closet to say:
good job guys, wish I didnt suck at photshop..


have you been paying attention to the thread?

May 01, 2003: 18:22
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TracerBullet
Joined: Apr 25, 2003


fortunatly, my last thought turned out the lights when it left.



<3 Jake & Elwood

May 01, 2003: 18:24
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Crustashio
Joined: Jul 27, 2000


quote:
Mr. Siffredi came out of the closet to say:



Holy fuck, golden. That same commercial has been running for about 5 years now.

May 01, 2003: 18:24
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OhPlz
Joined: Jul 25, 2001


May 01, 2003: 18:29
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Cocktail Kitten
Joined: Mar 09, 2003


Updated. No more crappy source image for me.

Cocktail Kitten decided to show you this image:

Cocktail Kitten fucked around with this message at May 04, 2003 around 16:28

May 01, 2003: 18:39
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slartibartfast
Joined: Nov 13, 2002


quote:
TracerBullet came out of the closet to say:
http://personal-pages.kenyon.edu/~bishopda/rollers.jpg
<3 Jake & Elwood


You have brought a 5 to this thread. Good show, chap.

May 01, 2003: 18:40
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Hey!
Joined: Feb 26, 2001


MORE MONEY = BETTER THAN

Hey! decided to show you this image:

May 01, 2003: 18:42
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sokkmonkey
Joined: Apr 25, 2003


Jaundite9991 obeys the path

__________________

May 01, 2003: 18:42
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Darel
Joined: Mar 24, 2003


I ENJOY A FINE HAM SAMWICH!!1

quote:
Cocktail Kitten came out of the closet to say:
[img - socool]


Holy shit. 5

May 01, 2003: 18:44
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TheGreatGildersneeze
Joined: Feb 24, 2001


Pizza Engineer






That one's hall of shame worthy, but I don't really give a damn. I'm tired, and I just took an exam in this shit today, so I deserve the opportunity to do some shitty work.

TheGreatGildersneeze fucked around with this message at May 01, 2003 around 18:50

May 01, 2003: 18:47
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Wiseblood
Joined: Dec 30, 2000


Seen this happen quite a few times. (Always fun when two people are trying to cross an intersection and there's only one lane at the other end.)

Wiseblood decided to show you this image:

May 01, 2003: 18:47
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Tenacious J
Joined: Nov 19, 2002

Deep beneath the subatomic threshold lurks a mysterious force from whence man and beast sprang forth, as one. Evolved from the blood of the ancients, in the tradition of Ang & Chang with a little Wang Chung sauce... Tenacious J.

quote:
neap0litan came out of the closet to say:
The sign:


what other drivers see:



This needs more love

5555

May 01, 2003: 18:51
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Iraq
Joined: Apr 01, 2003


quote:
Kieran came out of the closet to say:



Is that a pic on way/to/through Yuma? It looks damn familiar.

May 01, 2003: 18:58
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Kieran
Joined: Jan 09, 2001


quote:
Iraq came out of the closet to say:


Is that a pic on way/to/through Yuma? It looks damn familiar.



absolutely no idea. it came from a quick google image search.

May 01, 2003: 19:05
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Valvados
Joined: Sep 11, 2002


Maybe it's just me.

May 01, 2003: 19:06
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Hawzy
Joined: Dec 13, 2002


BROTHERMAN!

quote:
sokkmonkey came out of the closet to say:



OMG I SEE IT TOO. that is great .

May 01, 2003: 19:10
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dum2007
Joined: Jun 12, 2001


quote:
Mr. Siffredi came out of the closet to say:



COME TO THE MARKETPRO COMPUTER SHOW AND SALE AT THE DOME CENTER.
PRICES SO LOW IT WILL BLOW YOU AWAY! (clip of Terminator 2).

Fucking fucking fuck fuck fuck will they ever stop running that commercial on WUHF FOX Rochester!? I have seen it so many times it makes my head hurt.

(oh, 5...)

May 01, 2003: 19:18
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TracerBullet
Joined: Apr 25, 2003


fortunatly, my last thought turned out the lights when it left.



God I hate it when people try and tell me this.

May 01, 2003: 19:20
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Jake Are Gimp
Joined: Sep 21, 2002

Back from being banned

quote:
sokkmonkey came out of the closet to say:



This made me laugh out loud. 5.

May 01, 2003: 19:20
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Zoben
Joined: Oct 03, 2001


I'm lovin' the Chinaman one.

This is more something that I would think when I see this sign, I wish they'd put a comma in the original after "Slow."

May 01, 2003: 19:22
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Schmoli
Joined: Apr 21, 2002


it's winning time.

my crappy attempt, but it happens all the time on highway 20 here.

Schmoli decided to show you this image:

May 01, 2003: 19:25
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talkingapple
Joined: Apr 23, 2003

I'm on double secret probation

quote:
TracerBullet came out of the closet to say:
[img]weeddrive.jpg[img]

God I hate it when people try and tell me this.




i drive perfectly fine when i am stoned.

ever tried it?

__________________

talkingapple fucked around with this message at May 01, 2003 around 19:28

May 01, 2003: 19:25
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UCSDmateo
Joined: Feb 24, 2003

Using a fifteen-hundred-dollar computer to bitch about paying the government four hundred bucks

Old people. Sigh.

UCSDmateo decided to show you this image:

May 01, 2003: 19:28
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TracerBullet
Joined: Apr 25, 2003


fortunatly, my last thought turned out the lights when it left.

quote:
talkingapple came out of the closet to say:



i drive perfectly fine when i am stoned.

ever tried it?



YES. I nearly crashed the car into a light post 'cause my friend made some lame-ass joke. Also, it made it seem like the road I was driving on happened to be the LONGEST road in exsistance. Maybe it's just me though :P

May 01, 2003: 19:28
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talkingapple
Joined: Apr 23, 2003

I'm on double secret probation

ya, my friend drives really well while stoned, but then again my other friend drives horribly when she's stoned. so its different for everyone

May 01, 2003: 19:30
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mister_gosh
Joined: May 24, 2002


quote:
talkingapple came out of the closet to say:



i drive perfectly fine when i am stoned.

ever tried it?



quote:
God I hate it when people try and tell me this


idiot

May 01, 2003: 19:30
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TheGreatGildersneeze
Joined: Feb 24, 2001


Pizza Engineer

What's really there:


What they see, especially because I'm behind them:

May 01, 2003: 19:31
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BrainInAJar
Joined: Jul 09, 2001

I am a fag and I don't believe in ninjas!

quote:
Crackpimp came out of the closet to say:


Thats not a bad driver though... when the yellow arrow appears only the people in the intersection are supposed to advance, anyone still in the queue isn't supposed to turn in that cycle



Jesus Christ, would you just stop being a know-it-all and polluting every fun thread with stuff that we don't care enough to verify as true or false?

May 01, 2003: 19:32
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talkingapple
Joined: Apr 23, 2003

I'm on double secret probation

quote:
mister_gosh came out of the closet to say:




idiot




nothx

May 01, 2003: 19:32
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Ragnarok the Red
Joined: Jun 21, 2002


quote:
TheGreatGildersneeze came out of the closet to say:



We're all special.

5

May 01, 2003: 19:42
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highme
Joined: May 25, 2001

I drink the ejaculation of serpents!

I haven't laughed so hard at a photoshop thread since I stumbled across the Garfield thread on my first foray into SA.


I'm remiss that I can't rate this a 5 for everybody else in the office that have tears streaming down their cheeks right now too.

May 01, 2003: 19:42
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TracerBullet
Joined: Apr 25, 2003


fortunatly, my last thought turned out the lights when it left.

quote:
highme came out of the closet to say:
I haven't laughed so hard at a photoshop thread since I stumbled across the Garfield thread on my first foray into SA.


I'm remiss that I can't rate this a 5 for everybody else in the office that have tears streaming down their cheeks right now too.



Psh...if you really loved us you'd make them pony up and do it themselves.

/lowtax's accountant

May 01, 2003: 19:43
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captain_orbital
Joined: Jan 22, 2003


This one's pretty obvious.

You see:


They see:


This is the one that really bugs me the most. Especially prevalent in Wisconsin for some reason. I am steering clear of that cheese hell. If I could get a license plate that said "Slower Traffic Keep Right" I totally would.

That and people driving with their high-beams perma-on. Pricks.

May 01, 2003: 19:44
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Ascoe
Joined: Apr 26, 2003


Ascoe fucked around with this message at May 01, 2003 around 19:57

May 01, 2003: 19:48
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Markoff Chaney
Joined: May 29, 2002


Does anybody else always think of an unfortunately named Chinese gentleman whenever they see a "PED XING" sign? I know I do. Also, this thread is too cool for school.

May 01, 2003: 19:48
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neap0litan
Joined: Sep 09, 2001


quote:
captain_orbital came out of the closet to say:
This is the one that really bugs me the most. Especially prevalent in Wisconsin for some reason. I am steering clear of that cheese hell. If I could get a license plate that said "Slower Traffic Keep Right" I totally would.
Here in Colorado, people slow down when they see you come up behind them in the left lane--even when the right lane is empty. They seem to think it's their responsibilty to inconvenience speeders such as myself.

May 01, 2003: 19:50
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Tetrad
Joined: Nov 02, 2002


Well it's what I see at least...

Edit: crap, forgot to attach.

May 01, 2003: 19:50
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dethblud
Joined: Nov 25, 2002


No, I don't really need to cross the street here...

dethblud decided to show you this image:

May 01, 2003: 19:52
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Cocktail Kitten
Joined: Mar 09, 2003


Planaria are not as iconic as they would have you believe.
PS yes, I was once a biology nerd...

Cocktail Kitten decided to show you this image:

May 01, 2003: 19:53
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SaTaMaS
Joined: Apr 17, 2003




always good for an adrenaline rush

May 01, 2003: 19:55
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Sepherothic
Joined: Feb 07, 2003


I assembled the greatest video in the history of GBS. And I know how to PARTY HARD!!!

quote:
Ascoe came out of the closet to say:



damn straight, i gotta cross a 6 lane highway, next to a shipping port noless(means lots of trucks), to get to class every morning, as i cross the street i look at each driver as i cross their path to make sure there gonna stop and not make me road kill.

edit:gifed per request :P

Sepherothic fucked around with this message at May 01, 2003 around 20:33

May 01, 2003: 19:56
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Ascoe
Joined: Apr 26, 2003


quote:
Sepherothic came out of the closet to say:


damn straight, i gotta cross a 6 lane highway, next to a shipping port noless(means lots of trucks), to get to class every morning, as i cross the street i look at each driver as i cross their path to make sure there gonna stop and not make me road kill.



change quote to .gif plz instead of .jpg :]

http://mysite.verizon.net/res1yivl/images/walkslowly.gif

May 01, 2003: 19:59
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NOISEassault
Joined: Sep 02, 2002



May 01, 2003: 20:05
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shuriken
Joined: Dec 01, 2002


May 01, 2003: 20:06
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Phut
Joined: Mar 11, 2003




meh, not funny :/

May 01, 2003: 20:07
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LurchDawg
Joined: Jan 01, 2003

whatever it is right now, I'm trying to unban my account

quote:
dum2007 came out of the closet to say:


COME TO THE MARKETPRO COMPUTER SHOW AND SALE AT THE DOME CENTER.
PRICES SO LOW IT WILL BLOW YOU AWAY! (clip of Terminator 2).

Fucking fucking fuck fuck fuck will they ever stop running that commercial on WUHF FOX Rochester!? I have seen it so many times it makes my head hurt.

(oh, 5...)




We have the same one here in Allentown, PA

May 01, 2003: 20:07
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Mackin
Joined: Jan 13, 2001


.

Mackin decided to show you this image:

May 01, 2003: 20:08
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Mach420
Joined: Jun 22, 2002


What I see:


What Mr. Superhero #532,457,185 sees:

May 01, 2003: 20:08
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carcinofuck
Joined: Apr 18, 2001

good morning heartache, you're like an old friend

quote:
Cocktail Kitten came out of the closet to say:
Planaria are not as iconic as they would have you believe.
PS yes, I was once a biology nerd...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA


That's awesome.

__________________
I hate the kids / I hate their clothes
I hate their stupid looks / when I play my rock n roll

[ NOMEANSNO » that Patton faggot ] ų

May 01, 2003: 20:14
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ToiletDuk
Joined: Sep 04, 2002


That's right, fat stuff.
Shake those chins!

Yay, more SUV humor.

May 01, 2003: 20:16
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MightyCow
Joined: Nov 05, 2002


Feel the funk y'all!

quote:
Cocktail Kitten came out of the closet to say:
Planaria are not as iconic as they would have you believe.
PS yes, I was once a biology nerd...


Will you marry me?

May 01, 2003: 20:20
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Cixel Syd
Joined: May 20, 2001

I am a whiny Forum Newbie.

You see...

They see...



You see...

They see...

__________________
If it's clear and yella, you've got juice there, fella! If it's tangy and brown, you're in cider town. Now, there's two exceptions and it gets kinda tricky here...

May 01, 2003: 20:22
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kliksf
Joined: Dec 31, 2002


Information Cul-de-Sac

quote:
ToiletDuk came out of the closet to say:
Yay, more SUV humor.

[img]suvparking.jpg


555555555555555
Great job.

May 01, 2003: 20:22
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TheGreatGildersneeze
Joined: Feb 24, 2001


Pizza Engineer

quote:
captain_orbital came out of the closet to say:
This is the one that really bugs me the most. Especially prevalent in Wisconsin for some reason. I am steering clear of that cheese hell. If I could get a license plate that said "Slower Traffic Keep Right" I totally would.
Around here, it's slightly different:

You see:


They see:


quote:
Cocktail Kitten said:
Planaria
Nightmares of high school biology come flooding back. Damn you! DAMN YOUUUUUU!
quote:
ToiletDuk said:
[img - SUV]
Ironically enough, the inspiration for this thread was stopping at my local Circuit Shitty, and sticking about seven feet out of one of the "COMPACT CARS ONLY" spots (and the sign was DEAD IN FRONT OF THIS DUMB WHORE'S BEHEMOTH) was some dipshit blonde in a full length SUV of some type. Of course, that was the only close parking space left, but it wasn't available to my Civic and I, because this self important twat was waiting for the man that would make her a trophy wife to come out of there. Too bad she was already gone by the time I found another space out in East Jesus Junction. I would have blasted her out verbally.

May 01, 2003: 20:28
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Vorpal Bunny
Joined: Apr 06, 2002


Semen is meant to be chugged, not sipped.

quote:
Cixel Syd came out of the closet to say:
You see...


What the hell is that? Hunting zone?

May 01, 2003: 20:30
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ToiletDuk
Joined: Sep 04, 2002


That's right, fat stuff.
Shake those chins!

quote:
TheGreatGildersneeze came out of the closet to say:
Ironically enough, the inspiration for this thread was stopping at my local Circuit Shitty, and sticking about seven feet out of one of the "COMPACT CARS ONLY" spots


My original idea was to find a picture of an empty parking space between two cars, narrow the space to motorcycle width, and write "SUV PARKING" on the ground, but I couldn't find a good source image.

May 01, 2003: 20:30
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TheGreatGildersneeze
Joined: Feb 24, 2001


Pizza Engineer

quote:
ToiletDuk came out of the closet to say:


My original idea was to find a picture of an empty parking space between two cars, narrow the space to motorcycle width, and write "SUV PARKING" on the ground, but I couldn't find a good source image.

I was actually thinking about going out to the parking lot again with my digital camera and take a picture of the "Compact only" sign, but I decided laziness and just finding shit on the internet was cooler.

May 01, 2003: 20:32
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MikeTyson
Joined: Jan 20, 2001

Forum Veteran

quote:
TracerBullet came out of the closet to say:
God I hate it when people try and tell me this.


Hahahahaha, YES. I've been with a few people who've done it while driving (dumb). If by "enhance" they mean "go five miles an hour with disregard for road objects and an extremely suspicious car clouded with smoke", then.. yes. Yes it does enhance one's driving.

May 01, 2003: 20:37
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EvilDonald
Joined: Aug 30, 2002




I hate those fuckers.

quote:

neap0litan came out of the closet to say:
Here in Colorado, people slow down when they see you come up behind them in the left lane--even when the right lane is empty. They seem to think it's their responsibilty to inconvenience speeders such as myself.



Heh. I do that, but only if I'm speeding already, and you flash your lights at me.

EvilDonald fucked around with this message at May 01, 2003 around 20:54

May 01, 2003: 20:47
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captain_orbital
Joined: Jan 22, 2003


quote:
neap0litan came out of the closet to say:
Here in Colorado, people slow down when they see you come up behind them in the left lane--even when the right lane is empty. They seem to think it's their responsibilty to inconvenience speeders such as myself.
Hmm. That's funny, all I remember of Colorado is driving on what may have been highway 70 on the way to Denver from Moab, UT, and going like 20mph because of the crippling snow. Then it cleared up, as we were approaching Denver, just in time for the crippling fog. I'm pretty sure people were blasting by us at like 80mph, but there's really no way to be sure because I was fucking blind.

Side from that, the drive was absolutely gorgeous. Mountains are awesome.

May 01, 2003: 20:47
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drags
Joined: Apr 06, 2003


quote:
Scalper came out of the closet to say:


Edit: Off topic - sorry got carried away.



You sir, score the 5

May 01, 2003: 20:50
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Noomsby
Joined: Nov 19, 2002


May 01, 2003: 20:55
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ScheisseGėrn
Joined: Apr 15, 2003

[[NSMutableCretin alloc] init]

Lolocaust.

5.

May 01, 2003: 20:58
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LonelyKing
Joined: Feb 01, 2003


Originally it was...


But now it's more like...

May 01, 2003: 21:00
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You are a nerd
Joined: Apr 09, 2003


See?

lol physics nerd lol

May 01, 2003: 21:08
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Solovon
Joined: Dec 15, 2002


Sawl-oh-vawn
(P.S. I am a fucking retard)

quote:
EvilDonald came out of the closet to say:




Hahahahahaha! Funniest one yet!

May 01, 2003: 21:12
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drags
Joined: Apr 06, 2003


quote:
EvilDonald came out of the closet to say:





My dads been trucking driving for close to 30 years now.

A) most trucks can't do 95 with a load, and not often will they go that fast with en ampty (box) trailer. It tends to slide easy.
B) Truck driving means you drive as a job, most truckers I know are quite good. My dads personal record is 28 years with 0 at fault accidents and 1 ticket. (a non moving one)
C) When you fear a large truck and you pull ahead of it to get yourself "safe" then slow down like some old siezuring fuck on his way to church, you make people mad. Imagine if someone did that to you. Truckers with the extra oomph will pass you back, which is probably why you think all truckers do 95, to get around your scaredy ass.

May 01, 2003: 21:13
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Jericho
Joined: Jul 26, 2001

I ate paintballs. I smashed an egg on my face. Yet, I'm still unloved.

quote:
drags came out of the closet to say:
Nerdy dork shit


Stop crying. I'm sure your dad is a fine driver.

May 01, 2003: 21:18
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Your Boogie Man
Joined: Apr 01, 2003


May 01, 2003: 21:28
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Scalper
Joined: Sep 30, 2002


Super Pervert

quote:
LonelyKing came out of the closet to say:




May 01, 2003: 21:29
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CalvinDooglas
Joined: Dec 04, 2002


Watch For Fleeing Immigrants



in case some of you aren't familiar with roundabout procedures:
As you can only turn right, you aren't supposed to use a turn signal. the roundabout is also to be treated as a 4-way yield. you don't stop unless there's someone coming, and you don't go until it's clear.

May 01, 2003: 21:34
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5thSFG.DEMAG
Joined: Feb 25, 2003


quote:
Your Boogie Man came out of the closet to say:



5 on it

May 01, 2003: 21:36
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Wu_Tang
Joined: May 12, 2001


He Loves You

quote:
Jericho came out of the closet to say:


Stop crying. I'm sure your dad is a fine driver.



I would consider 30 years of driving 8 hours a day with no moving violations good driving, but maybe I am just stupid

May 01, 2003: 21:36
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Iambic
Joined: Jun 23, 2002


quote:
Cocktail Kitten came out of the closet to say:
Planaria are not as iconic as they would have you believe.
PS yes, I was once a biology nerd...



BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I used to love cutting those thing's heads in half.

May 01, 2003: 21:38
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Robert the Red
Joined: Mar 31, 2003


The problem with truck drivers is that, while 95% of them are no problem, the remaining 5% can *really* make life difficult for a lot of people.

I mean, if a Toyota and a Yugo have an accident, they pull over, not problem.


But if a tractor trailer and a Toyota have an accident, traffic is stopped in both directions for two hours, during peak traffic.

May 01, 2003: 21:40
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ToiletDuk
Joined: Sep 04, 2002


That's right, fat stuff.
Shake those chins!

quote:
You are a nerd came out of the closet to say:
lol physics nerd lol

Needs more love.

May 01, 2003: 21:43
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GhostOfSam
Joined: Jul 27, 2001


quote:
captain_orbital came out of the closet to say:
If I could get a license plate that said "Slower Traffic Keep Right" I totally would.


I've seen a decal saying the very same thing, printed backwards, at the very top of a windshield. For the slow guy to see in his rear view mirror.

May 01, 2003: 21:52
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ScorpOMG
Joined: Jul 06, 2002

Wacky man

quote:
Phut came out of the closet to say:


meh, not funny :/




Man, that light is going to confuse a ton of colorblind drivers.

May 01, 2003: 21:53
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nmfree
Joined: Aug 15, 2001


quote:
Your Boogie Man came out of the closet to say:



Somehow, I should have expected this, but it still surprised me.

5

May 01, 2003: 21:59
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beefnog
Joined: Apr 10, 2003


Doorstop (professional)

quote:
Vorpal Bunny came out of the closet to say:
What the hell is that? Hunting zone?


It's the sign saying you're entering a roundabout intersection...

May 01, 2003: 22:01
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SirMrManGuy
Joined: Aug 31, 2001


quote:
CalvinDooglas came out of the closet to say:


in case some of you aren't familiar with roundabout procedures:
As you can only turn right, you aren't supposed to use a turn signal. the roundabout is also to be treated as a 4-way yield. you don't stop unless there's someone coming, and you don't go until it's clear.


Thankyou so much! There is a traffic circle at copper mountain, where I used to work, you dont know how many times I've seen gapers go backwards throught it and almost hit busses/plows/other cars/people. Most of the time they even end up in the wrong lane of traffic with a bus speeding towards them.

In downtown towson, MD they have a two lane circle and I have seen many an accident there.

May 01, 2003: 22:11
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NOISEassault
Joined: Sep 02, 2002


I wish mine weren't so shitty...



May 01, 2003: 22:31
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CalvinDooglas
Joined: Dec 04, 2002


Watch For Fleeing Immigrants

quote:
NOISEassault came out of the closet to say:




shit, that looks familiar. is that in a zoo thing naer San Diego?

May 01, 2003: 22:34
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NOISEassault
Joined: Sep 02, 2002


quote:
CalvinDooglas came out of the closet to say:


shit, that looks familiar. is that in a zoo thing naer San Diego?


I myself can't verify that... just a random image I grabbed from google.. however, from the looks of it I'd guess it was a zoo

May 01, 2003: 22:36
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